I am genuinely losing my mind. Last night was genuinely one of the worst days of my entire life and not even just because of the election. Luckily I live in California which is one of the best places for a gay male to be in the States but I can't help but feel a sense of hopelessness. I really genuinely believed that Kamala was going to win. I thought surely there is no way a convicted felon/rapist/homphobe/racist/misogynistic annoying orange could possibly win. I've almost exclusively been hearing from people saying they were going to vote against him and heard so many endorsements for Kamala.

I also on the same night last night broke off my engagement to my partner of 7 years. My first for almost everything. I really thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him. I won't go into details here because to be frank it is a long and unpleasant story.

I am genuinely feeling so utterly worthless. I feel so isolated and fearful. I can't help but feel like a waste of space and apparently even the majority of society agrees. Can we never get any reprieve? Is our cause truly lost? I just have too many thoughts and I don't know what to do with them.