(TW: mentions of death , politics and depression ) Any progress i make is halted and trashed to the ground, any healing i make is absolutely gone with in 3 days like it's a victim of the ring movie or something , there is no hope, there is nothing left for me , i have no desire to live , to eat , drink , sleep, play my games , reply to texts, go outside or even check my phone I should've never done this , i should've never ran away to Israel because my death in west bank would've been far more merciful and prideful but here i am forced to live as a refugee within my own land with no pride, no Job , no support system, no education, no healthcare, no dignity, no future , just the hope that the UN will actually care about me and help me relocate but spoilers they never cared or will care about us , we are just numbers for them , names , counts , cases and nothing else, they'll string us along for 3 years then just deny us the right to exist or to live and that's how it always ends , im done just counting days waiting for something but i don't know what it is , maybe a miracle , an event, a sudden change or maybe it's just death