The ldr relationship started local but then due to a job transfer, I moved over 1500 miles. We were living together before the move and everything was great between us. I thought she would eventually move to be with me but as 6 years passed by, it never happened and the same reasons still exist mainly her aging mother. So I don’t realistically see us being together in the next five years.

We are seeing each other sporadically and less and less as each year goes by. I find myself calling her more than her calling me and when we do see each other it’s me that makes the effort to travel. I find myself often feeling lonely. I cherish the friendship we have and have warm memories of us together. If she was here with me it would be an easy decision. We get along effortlessly and it is just real good. We are friends first and foremost.

In the mean time, I met a great lady at my gym. She is friendly, fit and very attractive. We began chatting daily and went to coffee one day and the conversation was good. She’s a quality person and I could see myself with her. We have since gone on several dates and our communication level has picked up and I can tell she is very interested in me. Nothing sexual has occurred and I have not even tried.

My dilemma is what to do. I’m starting to feel massively guilty as I feel I’m cheating or monkey branching. I love and respect my long distance partner but my needs aren’t being met and I don’t see that result changing. I don’t won’t to lose her and the friendship we have. I think it is special and rare atleast for me.

The new girl is great and I can see myself in an everyday romantic relationship with her with the added benefit of her being present everyday in my life.

What to do? Obviously I need to decide and end one of them. Any advice?

Update: I know this post will generate a lot of your a cheater sentiment. I do feel guilty and I’m not looking for that perspective. I guess I’m looking for a debate or logical reasons to help me think through what would be the best decision. I suspect I my viewpoint would be better answered from men who have experienced this before. Did you regret making one decision over the other? What factors led you to make your decision?