So we've been in a rough patch for a while now, much of which stems from his currently quite poor mental state. He's constantly telling me he never gets time alone (which he does because I work evenings and weekends, and which he never would if he moved back in with his parents) and that he's under too much pressure and is really perpetually unhappy. I've been encouraging him to see a doctor about his mental health but he's reluctant.

A few weeks ago he went away for the weekend and when he came back we talked about how much we'd missed each other and how we actually didn't want to split up. From that I felt things might stabilise and I've been putting loads of effort in. He doesn't seem to have reciprocated - he's quite a selfish person anyway by his own admission - and it's become a bit of a struggle again over the past week or so.

We had a massive heated row last night and went to bed without having resolved it. Tonight he came home from work and said he was going to stay at his parents tonight. I'm at work overnight tomorrow night so he said we could talk on Saturday. When I asked him what the deal was and if we were still together he came to the conclusion of "probably not but we can talk on Saturday".

I'm pretty sure given his current approach to life that he's using this relationship as a bit of a scapegoat for his problems because it's one of the areas he can control. I still love him and he claims to still love me. I don't know where I stand at the moment but if it does end then I'll lose a lot, both emotionally and practically. I'm not going to beg him to stay but I don't think he's gone through all his options and I think he's making a rash decision, and the wrong one at that. His family will also question this decision because it's nuts.

He's gone to his parents for the night and I'm left on my own. I can't go to any of my loved ones right now - they're quite far away. I don't feel there are many people I can admit this to judgement-free - I usually try and keep quiet about the difficulties and this will all be a bit sudden. I just feel so alone and so scared. I can't cope with this on my own.

Thanks for reading.

EDIT - 1 week on: things are much better. He came back home and we decided to just try and spend some low-key time together and not force anything. A few days later he apologised for scaring me and said he wanted to be together too and he'd just freaked out. Now building on things but it seems like we will be ok. Thank you SO MUCH to all of you for the support I've received - it's what got me through the hardest nights. 💖