I’m so sorry. I’m about to proselytize.

Hello friends! I have been in the Kibbesphere since 2021, and have sought typing help from this sub and others a couple times. I have always gotten varying and conflicting feedback, but it is clear to myself and others that I am either a Yin type or have a significant Yin undercurrent. Without access to Strictly Kibbe or apparently a brain capable of comprehending the original Metamorphosis, I have been forced to make do with the outer lying rings of the sphere, many of which parrot inaccurate or insensitive information.

Like many dabblers, I realized at a certain point that my participation in Kibbe was hurting, not helping. As someone who struggles significantly with her body image and has had a history of eating disorders, focusing on the minutiae of my physical form has been uhmmmmm unhelpful. Asking myself whether I am blunt, sharp, broad, boneless, snowman, X-shaped, frame dominant, I’m getting sick just typing this. Not only am I too dysmorphic to see myself accurately, but I also barely understand what half of those things mean (and NOT for lack of trying, I swear).

That’s not even to mention the other half of the deal—essences. Honestly, I feel that I understand this better than I understand most of the accommodations lol. I’m more of a cerebral, abstract person in general, and it’s easy for me to place myself unmistakably as a romantic based solely on essences. Although I feel my body is clearly not pure yin, I feel that my face is. Since DJ advises DIYers not to focus on this too much since we may not be able to see Yin and Yang accurately, I try not to emphasize it, but when trying to figure out my ID, it’s a huuuuuge confounding factor.

Suffice it to say, not only do I have no idea what I’m doing, but it often hurts my feelings (there’s a chance I’m too sensitive to be on the internet but here I am soooo). I know that this isn’t Kibbe’s fault, but is a reflection of the world we live in. I felt that there was intrinsic value for me in this system, but worrying about my ID was not helping me find it.

So I stepped back and took the focus off my body and put it on my image. I asked myself not, “Does my bust line exceed my shoulder line?” but, “What shape am I looking to create when getting dressed?” This was how I clocked that I LOVE to use vertical. I realized that I think dressing with vertical in mind looks good on everyone, so it’s hard for me to say whether I technically require vertical accommodation, but I think so.

I also asked, “What image do I want to project? What image do I innately project?” In my case, I’d say these are the same or similar. I work with lingerie professionally and using it in my daily wardrobe is one of the great joys of my life. Combined with the fact that I am very curvy and somewhat slutty, sexiness is an unavoidable and embraced aspect of my image. In spite of this, I am often told that I seem very innocent, shy, prudish, sometimes even snobby or uppity. I am quite sure that, although I dress in a manner I consider conventionally sexy, sexiness is not the most important part of my image.

So, if it’s not, then what is? I decided that it’s sweetness. I am served both physically and spiritually by sprinkling sugar into all that I do. I feel most like the person I want to be when I am being kind, warm, and welcoming, and when I wear clothing that projects a similar image.

Rarely is my attention not on my boobs, and I frequently use them to distract from the rest of my outfit so that I don’t have to think about it. Literally accommodating them is always a struggle, due to their size. Stretchy clothes fit but don’t flatter me. I like something either free-flowing or very lightly structured. I feel I am at my very best when wearing both together. For example, a Realisation Par Alba slip dress with a cropped jacket.

In all, I have made more progress in understanding how to dress by literally dressing with intent than I have by focusing on how to accommodate individual body parts. It’s constantly stated that Kibbe is not a body type system, and while there is an extent to which the body itself must be considered, I don’t think it’s going to be useful for everyone to start there.

Rather, I suggest spending some time without Kibbe language but with Kibbe concepts, and see if you can start to understand what makes you feel the best and why. Based on the accommodations I favor, it seems that Soft Dramatic is my ID. On a face and essence level, this feels like a very sure mismatch, which is why I can’t fully embrace it. But again, I don’t need to know my ID for sure to make Kibbe useful and fun. Whether I am a Soft Dramatic or not, I am learning which aspects of my body and spirit are most prominent and make me feel the best, and that’s what Kibbe is all about!

Apologies for the slightly idiotic diatribe. I am sad and trying to distract myself. So thank you for reading, if you made it this far! I would be VERY curious to hear about your thoughts on this subject, or your Kibbe journey generally. This isn’t a typing post, but if you have any feedback about that or my outfits, I am interested in that too. Wishing you all a splendid Sunday!