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31 [M4F] I'll describe myself in a sleezy lawyer commercial format.
Author Summary
i_am_him_33 is a male age 31 looking for a female in Kansas City, MO
Post Body

poorly acted scene

"All these guys I try to see end up ghosting me."

Grey out scene and large red X overlaps the screen

Has this ever happened to you?

Well you need better FWB representation and that's me, i_am_him_33. That's right - we take sexual promiscuity seriously and it shows in cases we take.

paid actress 1

"I was always trying to meet up with someone, but never had consistency. I_am_him_33 seemed to always be free, it's like he has no friends or something?"

paid actress 2

"I met up with i_am_him_33 because I was bored, we hooked up and he cried a lot but it was nice to have someone around."

paid actress 3

"Now? Oh! Okay - yeah I met up with i_am_him_33 and he was in bed.... what? He was what? Oh! And he was awesome in bed."

Never worry about getting taken advantage of by i_am_him_33 FWB service, I don't have the confidence to instill fear and about as much mystery as a burlap sack. That's right, just one DM and you're represented by i_am_him_33 FWB service until you're tired of our shit [ avg client retention ~13 minutes ]

"But I_am_him_33, how do I know you're not some creepy guy?"

No problem! All our services are backed by our "this dude is fucking creepy, get away from me" guarantee. With that, you have peace of mind that whenever you want to cut yourself off from my dementia, you can do so without retribution as if I breach it, I have to donate all of my savings [$3.24] to the charity of your choice!

"Okay, i_am_him_33 that sounds good - but why would we want to get with you?"

Say no more! We have 1 package that fits most any need for you. It's a white 6'2 tall muscular body that says "hey, I probably have sex." Great for taking on or off the streets. It is designed to be polite, funny and socially awkward. I don't know about you, but I feel excited talking about it.

disclaimer: A FWB is an important decision you should make based on the marketing materials provided. Please contact your local or state FWB offices to ensure accreditation and certified of all FWB services.

Author
Account Strength
50%
Account Age
1 year
Verified Email
Yes
Verified Flair
No
Total Karma
54
Link Karma
54
Comment Karma
n/a
Profile updated: 2 days ago
Posts updated: 19 hours ago

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Post Details

They Are
a male
Age
31
Looking For
a female
We try to extract some basic information from the post title. This is not always successful or accurate, please use your best judgement and compare these values to the post title and body for confirmation.
Posted
1 year ago