The night after my first DP experience, I immediately went back to my daddy’s place to get fucked again.

I’ll make a separate post about it, but in summary it was amazing 🥰. Had my first analgasm & daddy said, & quote “made me shoot like the biggest load of my life” lol.

He said that my actions were conflicting— I came over two nights in a row, ate dinner with him, slept over. So to him, it seemed I wanted to get to know him in a gentler and more intimate setting. What confused him was how unresponsive and reserved i was in all of our conversations. He told me I was so quiet it was almost scary.

He also said it wasn’t normal for a girl to jump in the way I did. So far, I met up with him 3 times and already got dp’d, tied up, gagged, whipped etc. And setting up more threesomes for the future. For him, it usually takes an established relationship to get to and maintain the point we were at sexually.

So he asked if I liked getting ignored. That’s apparently the vibe I gave off: someone into getting treated like shit, into degrading. Someone only interested in getting used, not talking. For the first time, it felt like someone was looking directly at me. Seeing the part of me that no one else ever sees. I never felt that vulnerable.

I actually didn’t know how to converse with him. I didn’t really want to. I don’t think I really like him as a person. Like we probably wouldn’t get along, fundamentally our ideals don’t match idk. I’m unsure if I’m ever gonna find/want a man who I actually… like. I guess I do a lot of hate fucking. Especially with men. I never actually like the men who fuck me. If I did, it’d be harder to move on after they inevitably ghost or hurt me. No emotional attachment is just easier. Hatred keeps the distance even further and honestly, the sex is better.

We went back n fourth about it for a bit. He said it shouldn’t be hard for us to find a common ground— he’s lived a full life, knows a bunch and can talk about anything. I went mute again. I didn’t want to engage in his life whatsoever. The more I humanize him the weirder it all feels. I also feel that an actual relationship isn’t viable. From what I’ve gathered from the many ex gf stories he’s mentioned, I don’t want any of that.

So, he asked the question that ultimately led to the pit in my stomach feeling I have now.

“Well, I guess our common ground is just fucking. Our deviance. That’s what you want then, right?” …. “Tell me you’re a slut who needs to get fucked with a dick in her mouth.”

And I complied.

I took my second round of training, including hot wax finally. More lashings and more clamps on my tits. Then he brought me back upstairs to fuck me. He made me stick my tongue all the way out, slapping me hard in the face if it went back in. He called me a good puppy and covered my face in spit. He shoved my tongue in his ass, I gave my first ever rusty trombone. And at one point he tells me,

“You’re only a stupid fucktoy. I realize that now. You’re gonna be such a good gangbang fucktoy.”

The harder he went the more out of body it all felt. But it also turned me on so much more. I came so much that night, like my pussy was throbbing for hours after.

I can’t fully describe the feeling I have now. It feels like dread, but without the negative connotation? Because I like it too. I don’t know what’s gonna happen now. I just want to continue whatever this is. I think I’m scared I just picked wrong idk. That this is gonna make me even more disposable to him. That maybe I should get to know him so he’ll want me more. I guess I don’t care now. I just wanna get fucked.