TL;DR Sorry if the wrong sub. Very long. SO grouped me in as someone that does not have his best interest at heart, and said "once a liar, always a liar" for a text I accidentally sent him 10 years ago. Having trouble sorting myself out. Think I am overreacting.

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I am having a hard time putting my finger on why I am so upset and hurt. I think I may just be being oversensitive because I picked up a seasonal job on top of my 9-5, so I am tired and a little frayed at the edges.

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Ancient Background: My SO had a tough childhood. There are a lot of unresolved issues from abuse that still affect him now as an adult. He also moved often with little to no notice every year or so. (he went to around 10 different schools). We met in (State 1) in college and became very close friends. His family (Mom, Stepfather, and brother) wanted to move to (state 2) and asked him to come. He did and we kept in contact. When he left he realized he had caught the feels for me, but I was in a relationship. (State 2) didn't work out, he then moved to what he considered his hometown in (state 3). My relationship ended and I started casually dating someone else. He told me about his feelings and I was upset because I felt like I was in a weird position, and was not expecting it. I sent him a hurtful text by accident that was meant for someone else. I don't remember what I said (I think it was meant for either for the guy I was seeing at the time or my best friend at the time), but I do remember the guilt and cringe feeling I had. There was a big fight over it, but I do know that I did apologize profusely at the time. We worked it out, decided to give it a go, and I moved from (State 1) to (State 3). All of this happened 10 years ago. We have been married 8.

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Recent background: He has a group of friends that he met at the beginning of high school, and kept in contact with while moving all around. He regularly talks to them and plays poker with them weekly. All of them live at home and we are in our 30's. He has had issues for years with them where he feels like they do not want to see him do well and tear him down. They usually talk/play at night so I am not apart of these conversations, but he has expressed multiple times how they make him feel. He thinks they are intentionally trying to make him feel smaller and less than. I guess they got in a fight because my SO posted part a project he has been working on, they ignored it, and started talking about (movie) they like. Similar situations like this have happened before numerous times, however, one of them muted him on their group chat a few days ago, and then kicked him from the group. Now, none will answer his texts and no one showed for the poker game previously planned. This has made my SO very upset.

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Last night: I was working my seasonal gig and did not get home until almost 1AM. I had been texting him on my breaks about the issue he was having with his friends. When I got home I asked him about it, because I thought talking about it might make him feel better, because it has in the past. He was venting but started becoming more and more agitated.

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This is all paraphrased and from memory

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SO: Every single person in my life is out to get me, no one has my best interest at heart. I wish I was alone. I'll be a hermit. Probably a homeless hermit. (this went on for a while). Everyone lets me down. I don't know why I bother. I don't want a family or any friends. (this went on for a while it, and he got more agitated, but still seemed like normal venting)

Me: I know this thing with your friends has been hard, and its been going on a long time, but that I'm here, and I will always be here. (I thought that feeling of security would help).

SO: No, even you are a liar. Do you remember the text you sent me in (State 1)?

Me: Honey, that was over 10 years ago (confused because this has not been brought up since then) I have always and will always support you.

SO: Once a liar, always a liar, you are just like everyone else. I just want to be alone. I'm going to sleep out here.

Then I asked him to crate the dogs and he did it but was really mad, and I went to bed.

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This morning was just an awkward silence. I am trying to be understanding because it seems like this has triggered something else in him related to maybe feeling cast out as a child, or some of the other abuse he suffered. He brought up family a few times. Maybe that is compounding everything?

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For some reason, I am really really, really upset about this. I should not be lumped in with people he feels like are out to get him. Typing it all out it seems really silly, but I can't shake it. I HAVE always supported him. I moved for him. I was the sole earner while he went to school. If he needed to retake a class or drop something I never questioned it. I have taken more burden so he can work on projects that are important to him. He has found a job related to his eventual degree that did not require one, which is great, but I am still the main breadwinner. I am doing this seasonal gig because, without it, there is no Christmas. We are in a mess financially. And I have no idea where this whole text thing came from. it was years ago, and has never been brought up before. That came out of left field.

Is this the wrong sub? Am I just tired? Does this all sound very stupid? Should I just let it go as venting? I still have not talked to him at all today. He left while I was getting ready. Should I apologize again for the text, and maybe ask what heck it said?