Long time lurker, first time poster. I’m on mobile so sorry for any formatting errors or spelling mistakes I may miss.

I have been with my partner since 2018. We now have two children, and live in a shitty little basement apartment that we pay way too much for - but it’s a roof at the very least.

He never started out as a justno but became one very quickly. I’ve been listening to my mom rant about him for a while now but she doesn’t want me to bother talking to him about the issues. I know they’re there as I saw them before when my mom had her own place.

My mom takes care of my kiddies as I work, and am currently working two jobs - I’m about to give notice at one so I’m at a brief overlapping period.

My kids are 3(f) and 2(m). Exactly 10 month apart in age.

Justno does absolutely nothing around the house. Doesn’t clean Doesn’t do dishes Doesn’t clean the litter Hardly helps with the kids in any form. Doesn’t gather laundry until the minute we go to do it. Doesn’t unload groceries. Nothing.

My poor mom who is 65 and far from healthy has to do it all while I’m at work. And I hate myself for it.

Justno works 3 days a week. And regardless of whether I’ve gotten no sleep, or have a bad cold I have to drive him to work. When we met he’d bus everywhere. But now he won’t. He takes a taxi from work when he has to instead of the bus which is more expensive.

When he’s not working he sleeps till noon , gets up for about an hour where he has a couple coffees and sits outside smoking probably half a pack of cigarettes and then goes back to lay down until dinner or close to , where he’ll make himself a sandwich and share it with the kids which ends up ruining their dinner. (I don’t care what they eat I’m just happy they eat. However when my mom makes food that’s obviously a big slap in the face) My mom will make him his own meal and half the time he doesn’t even touch it.

I wish I could take it all back but still have my babies. I’m growing to hate him so much.

He offered me no help today with bathing the kids while my son and I are sick, didn’t even help me get them in their high chairs for breakfast.

I can’t even look at him.

Leaving is not currently an option due to finances unfortunately. So I have to just sit and stew.

Thanks for reading.