A couple of nights ago after I brushed my teeth, I spontaneously started looking at myself in the mirror. I stared at my own eyes, eye brows, mouth, pulled my hair back and just looked curiously at every detail on my face for like a good 30 minutes or longer. At some point I felt I saw the 12 years old me behind all my aging signs. I felt delighted and a sense of self love and compassion. And I went to bed peacefully. This is the first time I experienced this.

The next morning, I habitually scrolled through my youtube feed while waiting for my coffee to brew, and I saw the headshot of this youtuber (you know how they put out those screens where they have some headline text and their face next to it). I jumped cuz I thought her smile was evil and the image of Palpatine instantly popped in my head. This is a youtuber whose video I had watched many times and I never thought of her as a bad person, although I have outgrown her. A few minutes later I went back to look at her again and almost dropped my phone again cuz evil Palpatine is still there behind her face.

I avoided youtube the whole morning. Then later in the day I was scrolling through my news feed and saw the face of another familiar public figure on the news. This time I thought I saw some alien-ish / non-human thing behind this person's eyes, and I literally threw my phone on the floor. I felt like I reached behind their mask or something, it was extremely unsettling.

What the fuck is going on?? Good thing is I haven't felt that way in real life YET. My family and friends still look lovely to me lol. Has anyone experienced something like this?