I have been sitting here trying to soothe my pain from breaking up with someone who could not respect my boundaries and was very much a taking person emotionally. I had smoke a little bit of weed to ease my pain, but as I did, a voice in my head said you are reliving you grandfather's pain. In this moment I saw a collage of sorts. I realized that my grandfather had been beaten down by my grandmother and because of that had turned to substances and working away from home so he did not need to deal with her. My ex partner was very controlling, in a similar way to my grandmother, as much as I loved her when she was alive. She would nag in the literal sense (many people said it, not just my imagination). On the other side of my family it was a little different. My other grandfather (who is alive), loved my grandmother to pieces, but she was a sick woman, and what he did was not enough as she was grossly insecure. What I gather from both of these things is neither man wanted to be alone (which is understandable) and may or may not have settled for people that were toxic. My past two relationships have been toxic and I probably settled. The first was obviously toxic, but the second was more of an annoyance at first, which turned into gross insecurity. I realized neither man had the courage to face their loneliness (and in fairness probably other people did not). I see this being repeated, except my parent's relationship was relatively happy (except for my father's death). I realize in a way I need to face this dragon of pain without sacrificing my saneness so I don't end up alone. Has anyone else noticed familial traumas being played out in their own lives?