I noticed something and until recently could not connect it until I started reading up on Jung. I would get in these weird loops where I would be working on a software project/side project in general, and when I would hit a snag I would focus on trying to date with almost single mindedness (I do have autism, so could be part of it). After a while I would get bummed, go back to my goal, be happy, and repeat the cycle. As my father had passed, the parent I would go to for help would be my mom, but she was not intellectual as my dad. Could this be a way for me to find the depth I could never find in my mother to comfort me in my deeper endeavors?

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My mom would be like that is nice honey, but then if I screwed something up or even remotely reminded her of something (I was talking about nootropics and she thought that was the same as street drugs that recently caused a cousin to go into poor health), and then go into a wave about how anything off the beaten path is evil. I try to do my research on all things I do, but it seems like anything non-conventional is of the dark side or something. Any thoughts?