Babies, teens, adults have all been targets of terrorists in the Holy land in the last 48 hrs. As a Jew in Australia i woke up this morning even more broken, powerless, angry and upset by what is unfolding in Israel. I feel a desire for retribution, i feel hate, pain and anger. I feel like a hypocrite.

It is the middle of the festival of Sukkot, its meant to be a period of joy and festivity. We have been blessed with beautiful weather (in Melbourne) and our community is about to go into simchat torah celebration (mon night/tuesday).

I feel conflicted- how can i dance, be merry and encourage others to do the same when i am genuinely angry and sad. For what should we dance? Do we pretend that distance makes it ok to just ignore? Should we just 'let go' and 'be here now'? It seems so cliche and selfish.

Furthermore, I feel bad that i am angry and hateful, these are not Jewish feelings and should have no place in my life. So i am reflecting and am trying to internalize an idea found in chassidic writings. I am supposed to love Israel and the people who live there (and elsewhere) because of a spiritual soulful connection (not nationalism or comradeship) the land is special because of the Soul within it. The Torah that teaches me this also instructs me to be happy on the festival, leave the ego behind and transcend feelings of negativity. If Israel and its people are important to me then the other parts of my Tradition need to be important. It is not wrong to dance and celebrate the festivals right now, in fact melancholy and anger are actually the wrong responses.

My response to the tragedies must be to not retire to my own thoughts and feelings- those feelings will definitely achieve nothing- there is no teaching that shows the importance of sadness, hate and melancholy in a time like this.

So i am going to try to dance and try to be happy on Monday night, and i will celebrate on Tuesday. I will not treat these days as days of work or reflection but rather days of action and joy.

I will do my bit to change the spiritual flow in this world by following the spiritual manual. I will not be cynical, do nothing and enjoy feeling helpless, hopeless or intellectual. I will dance and celebrate not talk politics and military strategy. I will continue to try to believe. I will continue to be a part of the Infinite. I will continue being Jewish in every aspect of my life, both when it's easy and hard.