goes to see his doctor, for the umpteenth time. Fed up with the constant complaints, his doctor finally relents.

"Ok ok. There's a new guy in town, from Hong Kong. Chinese. Relationship specialist. I think he's a quack but it's worth a try." Says his doc and gives him the address.

The guy turns up and is surprised to find you can just walk in. The "doctor" sees him almost immediately. Once the guy finishes explaining his tale the doctor tells him to take off all his clothes and crawl across the room towards him.

"What will that do?" Asks the guy.

"Just humour me." Says the little Chinese specialist.

Reluctantly, the guy does as he's told.

"I see I see..." Says the Chinese man. "Now you crawl other way. Turn around. Crawl back."

Again, naked, and feeling rather foolish by now, the guy does as he's told.

"Ah-ha!" Exclaims the doctor. "Ed Zachary syndrome!"

"What's that? Is that why I can't get laid. Is there a cure?" Asks the guy, excitedly.

"Yes why you no get laid." Says the doc. "Yes there's a cure... Very expensive plastic surgery."

"I'll do anything doc! What is Ed Zachary syndrome?"

"Is when face look ed zachary like your arsehole."