A doctor was doing his rounds on the ward and came across a male patient masturbating. He said to the Nurse in charge, surely you shouldn’t be allowing this to happen on the ward, it’s most inappropriate. The nurse replied, he has HSC (high sperm count), he has to do this daily to bring the count down. Ok, the doctor said, I’ll allow it.

The next patient on the round was in a private room. The doctor entered to find a nurse rubbing the patient’s erect member vigorously. The doctor was aghast and said, what kind of inappropriate behaviour is going on here? This is preposterous. The nurse in charge said Doctor, this man also has HSC but he has private health insurance....