A man is on a quest for true enlightenment. His travels led him to sit with the Dalai Lama.

Man: Sir, do you have the answer for enlightenment?

The religious figure walks away but comes back with a bottle and a duck.

He hands both to the man and tells him,

"The day you can find the answer to put the duck into the bottle without harming it, you will find true enlightenment. I will come visit you in one week's time and check on your progress."

One week later, the man is visited again by the Dalai Lama. The man has had no luck, just is staring at the two. Bags are forming under his eyes.

"Sir, I cannot do this."

The Dalai Lama laughs and says,

"I will give you two weeks more."

Then he leaves.

Two weeks later, the man is exhausted. Charts and chalkboards are filled out and thrown around the room. He has textbooks littered everywhere from him researching physics, chemistry, any other subject he can think of that might give a hint to an answer. Alas, the man finds none.

The Dalai Lama laughs and tells the man that in one month, he will return again.

Another month passes, the Dalai Lama is walking to the house when he sees the man on his porch, smoking a cigar, drinking a scotch, and chuckling when he sees the man who gave him the duck and bottle close to two months prior.

The Dalai Lama looks at him and smiles.

"I see you found the answer, my child?"

The man grins and yells,

"Not my duck, not my bottle, not my fucking problem!"