Let me tell you about the best toast of the night. It was won by a fine Irish lad, John O'Reilly, who hoisted his ale and said "here's to spending the rest of me life... between the sumptuous legs of me big breasted wife!" The men cheered and gave him a trophy. When John returned home that night, drunk as a skunk, his wife demanded to know what the trophy was for. "Mary," John said, "I won the trophy for the best toast of the night. Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me beautiful wife."

Well the next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies. Staring at her massive boobs, the man said, "So Mary, did ye hear john won the trophy the other night at the pub with a toast about you?" "Aye, he told me," Mary said, "and I was A bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the last time I had to pull him by the ears just to make him come!"