A guy gets sent to prison, and he’s really nervous about the whole thing. He's seen the things on TV, heard all kinds of stories about how bad prison is, the treatment, the other inmates, and so he was very nervous about his time there. He meets his cellmate for the first time, who is a good deal taller and stronger than him which doesn’t help the matter, but his cellmate starts off with a handshake and introduces himself in a very pleasant tone with a smile. “How are you, my name’s Henry, and it’s good to meet you!”

The guy shakes his hand nervously, barely offering a response. Henry takes note and said, “Hey, you look a little nervous, everything okay?”

The guy gives a weak nod and manages, “I’ve just heard so many things about prison…” before trailing off, but Henry gives a little laugh and reassures him, “Oh buddy, don’t worry about it at all, prison really is not all that bad. The boys here are nice, the guards are fair, and the food’s not bad either. Oh hey, do you like movies?”

He nods, “Y-yeah, I guess.”

Henry says, “Every Monday they bring in a new theater release and play it on a projector screen for us, and I don’t mean no bootlegged or classic, it’s always newly released movies every week, it’s great! Oh, and do you like baseball?”

He nods again, starting to feel a bit more at ease, “Yeah, I love baseball”

Henry says, still smiling, “Every Tuesday they take us on the bus to the local stadium and give us great seats to watch a professional baseball game. One of the boys even caught a home run last month! And hey, do you like Italian food?”

He nods again more strongly this time, “Oh hell yes I do!”

Henry says, “Every Wednesday they bring in a chef from town who makes the best Italian food you’ve ever tasted, made to order and everything, it’s amazing!”

The guy nods, feeling much more assured, and Henry continues, “By the way, are you homosexual?”

The guy shakes his head, raising an eyebrow, “Uh, no…”

Henry’s smile fades and his gaze drifts to the side, “Ah, well you’re not going to like Thursdays...”