ETA: People keep missing this- my husband ABSOLUTELY is standing up for me and shuts this bs down. As does his father.

EDIT 2: It went ok! I took someone here’s idea and handed off my very chunky, absolutely adorable baby (totally biased) to her, and that was absolutely enough distraction for her to not say things. Add in that it became an alcohol free event, and there was only one moment when she started to say something (basically “Flamingo, I’ve always wondered….”) and my husband, stepson, and FIL shut her down immediately. She’s currently doing the dishes while I “nap” in the bedroom with a giant piece of pecan pie my wonderful husband secreted away for me. All in all- it could’ve been worse! Most important thing is having a united front.

Bit of background- Jewish woman, married to a goy. He has 2 kids from his previous marriage (11 and 8, if it matters), we have three (5, 2, and 5 months), and I am pregnant. It is a very full house.

He is an expat from a country which has a sizable Jewish population, but not where he is from. His father and stepmother are visiting for Thanksgiving- which is lovely, I adore his dad.

His stepmother, however, is another story. She doesn’t have malice in her, but she lacks a filter, isn’t all that bright, and I am absolutely the first Jewish person she has ever interacted with in any way. So sometimes absolutely idiotic things come out of her mouth, not because of malice but because she is, quite bluntly, an idiot.

I am too tired and too pregnant to deal with this. My stepson (the 11 year old) is very observant in particular and he and my husband will call out her comments when she says idiot things. To give you an idea- when I married my husband, she asked if he had to be circumcised to marry me, she asked me once in hushed tones “of course you don’t do this now, but is it true Jews would eat babies?”, and I’m fairly certain the first time we met she felt my head for horns (my hair is very curly and she patted it, saying she wanted to feel it but I have strong suspicions because who pats the top of someone’s head?).

So I am currently hiding out in the bathroom, knowing full well that as soon as she has a glass of wine later the idiot comments will start, particularly with the war. They weren’t here last year (my MIL came instead and she’s the absolute best) and I, obviously, cannot have a glass of wine to bear it.

The worst part is she lacks malice. She, quite frankly, is just not all that bright and lacks a filter. But she will follow me into another room if I make an excuse about needing to check on something/wash dishes, and try to help.

So. Any survival tips? Especially as my oldest is old enough to understand and remember this time (we haven’t hosted them since she was 3) and I know she will use me being pregnant as a reason to help out more, so I’ll have to deal with her a LOT, I am already getting tense.