Yeah, ik this seems like a no brained but here’s my context. I(20M) and my 8 siblings have been constantly abused by my mother for years, and it only stopped when I went into foster care. I have so many stories of shit she did, and now my siblings and I will laugh at it and just wonder how we turned out normal. But anyway, I’m in Sioux Falls, SD and my mother lives in California( ran away due to warrants and violates parole). I know I shouldn’t, but I still really love and miss my mother because she wasn’t always a terrible mother and I still remember when she would hug me and give me unconditional love. So I call her every now and again but she never responds. Until she needs large sums of money( usually 45-850, I paid her rent one time). Any other time I call it’s ignored but she calls at least once a month to ask for money. I know I’m being used, and I’m tired of being her piggy bank, but I can’t say no. I just see her how she was when I was 5 and I can’t stop loving her, despite the years on years of physical and mental abuse. I’ve literally been diagnosed with several mental illnesses and all my therapist have linked it back to a situation she put me in when I was younger. I feel so fucking stupid, and even my girlfriend is upset because I keep trying to maintain a healthy relationship with my unhealthily toxic mother. I just can’t stop loving her, as much as it hurts me, I just want her to love me again.