Back story: in March I had to make a quick run across the state with my 1yr my in-laws who have displaced JN tendencies allowed us to crash at their place and watch my LO for one day while I handled some family medical drama.

We were gone 3 days and when I got back my mom informed me she was going to a baby shower the same area in 6 weeks. So I shot Off a text to MIL to let her know. Over the next six weeks DH and I hear nothing from in-laws. I messaged photos of LO for the first two weeks then I returned their radio silence. The day we drive down I get a text from JNMIL confirming we were coming down. I waited 2 hrs (8hr drive) and replied with a simple “yes” and again silence. No attempt to make a plan. Right outside in-laws town message them

“Well seeing as how you're not responding.

I'm just letting you know that my mom and I are headed to the ****** right now for dinner if you're in town or intrested.”

JNMIL responded with an apology and didn’t see an “obvious” question so didn’t feel the need to reply.

In the 3yrs DH and I have been married In-laws have not made any effort to get to know me or Keep a relationship with their Son. But seem to have the expectation that LO be in their life.

We have been NC for 5 months now due to DH’s anxiety and trying to put the right words together to tell his parents how they failed him and his plan moving forward

(DH grew up in a home where he couldn’t voice his opinion. He and his siblings were required to maintain face due to his dad’s public image. DH has sever social anxiety to the point that phone calls make him vomit and his letter is writing from the toilet due to the stress)

Some suggest we just wash our hands of them. DH has been 100% independent from them. Some thinking we are over reacting. Some suggest therapy and counseling for DH individually and then add parents in so it’s as therapeutic as possible (we aren’t much into time investors)

I personally feel if they want a relationship with LO they have to do the leg work and keep a relationship with DH. If they never know I’m no worse for it I will Live I just feel they need to know one of their grandchild’s parents if they want anything to do with LO. And DH shouldn’t have to be the one to always instigate.

Before NC talking to his parents was a chore it was the last thing he would do because he hates it. So maybe it’s a good thing. I don’t know. Any suggestions?