I just got back home (hundreds of miles away) from doing a long weekend of hospice care for my dying aunt. Since we're not doing cast of characters, I'm going to call dying aunt OA (older aunt, because she is), and her youngest sister YA (younger aunt). Empty Ellie is the middle child amongst those sisters. I've already mentioned what kind of person Empty Ellie is, which bitchbot will list (there will probably be more hospice tidbits later, but I need to get this one out now).

YA comes to me and says "I think I said a bad thing to your mom", my mom being Empty Ellie. And I tell her to tell me about it.

So Empty Ellie probably has BPD. She doesn't feel the feels the way most people do. Times like this, when her older sister is dying, are trying, because she straight up doesn't understand how she's supposed to feel and compensates by acting like an asshole.

(Before I go on, I should mention I'm drunk. I got drunk as soon as I got home, because being back in my hometown made me too nervy to be able to be drunk, or feel comfortable, or relax in any way)

Anyways...everything is about Empty Ellie. EVERYTHING. You tell her something, anything, it could be "I got a hangnail today" and her reaction is something along the lines of "Well, I didn't plan on you getting a hangnail, you didn't give me enough warning, so I can't deal with you randomly getting a hangnail to ruin my day".

Yesterday, YA says to Empty Ellie "my friend Wanda is coming to watch OA, so that I can go with you to the airport to drop of Celany and Harry" (Harry being my partner). Empty Ellie says "Well, I don't need you to do that! I'm going to come back! You don't need to come with me to make sure that I go back!".

Because Empty Ellie's first thought about YA coming along to drop us off is that she expects Empty Ellie to not come back. Not that my aunt would like to see me for a bit in a situation that isn't all about OA dying. No, it's all about Empty Ellie and being suspicious that she's not coming back.

(given the propensity for BPDs to project, this does actually clue us into what Empty Ellie would like to do. But I digress...)

YA says "I know you don't need me to do this. I want to see Celany and Harry and say goodbye to them and spend five minutes with them not doing hospice care for OA". Empty Ellie continues to bitch about how YA didn't tell her about this (because...YA isn't telling her about it right now), and how it's not fair, somehow.

Finally, totally exasperated, YA says "It's not all about you, you know".

To which EA says "I know it's not all about me! It's never all about me! When's it going to be about me?!?!??!"

YA says (and I quote). "I don't know. Maybe it will be all about you WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE DYING" and walks off.

Empty Ellie really fucking had that coming.

And, as per the usual, didn't flip her shit on that one, because while she doesn't understand how to act around dying people, she is now capable of recognizing when she's pushed someone too far, and should lay the fuck off.

YA wants to know if she should feel bad for Empty Ellie, apologize, etc. I said "fuck no, Empty Ellie is being an ass. Apologizing will only embolden her." Because she really doesn't get it. She really doesn't understand that OA dying is about OA dying, and not about Empty Ellie.

My brain hurts. I'm so glad to be home, for however long it will be before OA dies (hospice nurse predicts OA won't die today, but will die within the week). Then I head back to my hometown for the funeral, and for convincing Empty Ellie that the funeral isn't going to be All About Her until she's in the fucking casket herself.