[I do not consent to my story being reposted or used any where else.]

So, I've been long time lurker, and a few years ago I posted once and then deleted out of fear. This one might be a bit long and messy since I'm on mobile and its late, so I apologize for any grammar errors or word vomit.

My JNMIL has been a terror from the first time I met her at 15 years old. Since DH and I are high-school sweethearts, I've had a lot of time with her, bascially shitting down my neck for taking her baby boy from her. She has left severe scars on both DH and I over the years, but things have seemed to calm down, or at least are supposed to feel like it.

A lot has happened over the years, and DH and I feel so exhausted from everything. JNMIL and FIL got a divorce just a month or so ago. (It's been about a year but was finalized recently.) She left him for a woman she met through tiktok and has moved 10 hours away from us in another state.

You would think this is our happy ending, but for some reason we both feel so hollow, tired, and stuck. We got married last year on our 10 year anniversary. This was also when JNMIL and FIL announced their divorce, as well as finding out about another bombshell that caused this mess. JNMIL does not know that we found out about her being a two-faced bitch, which is where we are now.

Backstory ahead: JNMIL and I "reconciled" about 3-4 years ago when she came to me asking to start over and I agreed. We're living on their property, (we're about to move), and she wanted us to get along since we'd be living under the same roof. I eventually began to genuinely see her as a second mom. When my mother almost died from a tear in her colon I broke down I the kitchen while she held me. She told me I'd always be a part of this family, which only made the reality hurt DH and I so much more.

Well, long story short, she never wanted a fresh start. She just wanted to take care of her precious baby boy and keep her eye on me. She talked behind my back as soon as I left the room about my weight, apperance, clothes, personality, you name it. She thought that DH was depressed and going to die because of me, and thinks I'm faking my disabilities. (I'm on SSDI.)

The fucking kicker? Everyone in the house knew except DH and I. We had just been playing into her little fantasy while everyone in the family knew she still hated me, and just assumed we also knew?? DH nearly lost his mind when we found out, and I went and stayed a night at my parents house to be away from her, since she hadn't moved out yet at the time.

So, after the hot shit show of everything coming to light, DH and I agreed she wasn't allowed at the wedding, not allowed to know where we lived, nor was she ever to be around me. She does not have my contact information. I say this because she made it very clear, for years, that even if we just did a courthouse wedding (which we did) she HAAADDDD to be there. She just absolutely couldn't miss seeing her baby boy getting married!

Well, she still doesn't know we actually did get married, and she wasn't fucking invited. DH was the one who put his foot down and made sure no one said anything, because he doesn't want anything to do with her. At the time, I'd offered to let her come if he really wanted or needed her too, which he immediately shook his head and said, "Fuck no." His spine has become so, blindingly shiny lmao.

Now it's been a few months of NC from me, and VLC from DH. He never contacts her first, so she always calls or texts him about 2-3 times a month. He usually doesn't respond to her texts, which is when she calls him.

Well, JNMIL is back in town this weekend and is taking DH, SIL, and possibly BIL out for breakfast tomorrow morning and it's caused some feelings to resurface.

I know we'll never get closure from her, no proper closure anyway. She doesn't know that we know everything she's said and done to us, and that DH absolutely hates her. She still thinks DH is mad about the divorce, but it goes about a 1000 miles deeper than that. To be honest, I think he hates her more now than I ever had in the past 10 years.

We're both just....so tired. There was a time when we both wanted to go nuclear on her, but decided to stay low so we could get married without worrying about her insanity. We know she's a narcissistic, selfish peice of work, and she'll never apologize, but it feels like we'll never be free from her unless she suddenly drops dead.

Bless you if you read this far. I just don't know, I'm just tired and rambling since he's seeing her tomorrow and it always fills me with dread when she's in town. I know how much DH hates her and how he's suffered more through this than I have, and his mood plumets when he sees her or speaks to her. I'm bringing this up with my therapist on Tuesday, and DH will be seeing one soon too. DH doesn't want to go NC because he's afraid she'll do something crazy if he blocks her due to some things she did in the past, so we feel like we're at a dead, uneasy end.

I just don't know if we're making the right call to stay NC and VLC. We dont want more contact or anything. DH still goes out to dinner with her one every few months when she asks to see him, like tomorrow for breakfast. DH and I both agreed if she tried to show up to our new apartment we'd call the cops, but this still feels like were just running from her because she doesnt know we've been planning and living our lives without her.

Where do we go from here? Should we tell her we're going NC and she isn't going to be involved in our lives? Do we say fuck it and stay the course?

We're so tired of feeling like we're going to be stuck at war with her forever. Any advice or similar stories of how you handled moving forward after NC and VLC is so, so appreciated.