I realize I have a DH problem and we are in the process of therapy and I am holding firm that I need a supportive partner or else I don’t need to be married.

That said. I am going through so much anxiety, fear, and dread. I haven’t heard from or seen JNMIL or JNSIL for almost a month which has obviously been bliss. But I can feel the explosiveness of passive aggressive comments, gaslighting, shame, blame and accusations coming my way any day now. I hate living on edge like this. I hate having to pay for therapy every week, so i switch to every month… but I’m stuck in this cycle where there’s a calm before the storm and I don’t need anti-anxiety meds or therapy. Then around a month after our last encounter she starts whining, guilt tripping, blaming etc that I’m keeping her from having a relationship with “her little doll” aka my 19 month old.

The reason I dislike my baby being around her? She makes passive aggressive comments the whole time about how baby hates her (implying that it’s because they’re not together every single day like her other grandchildren).

My marriage is pretty much over because of this woman. My husband and I have never fought about anything except this nonsense. I blew up at him this weekend asking him what he wants. Does he want his mother babysitting daily?? What does he want?? What will be enough??? Does he want to take her there every weekend on our only time as a family?

He said he wants a wife that lets him do what he wants and isn’t controlling. That’s why I blew up at him. I told him i wanted a husband who puts his wife and child’s needs first. He called me selfish. I told him I didn’t have a baby to hand over to his mom and their enmeshed family.

(I’ve been posting in justnoso already, they just aren’t as supportive or understanding in that group. And I do realize my husband has narcissist traits just like his mother).

He sat silently and gave me the silent treatment after projecting all the bs he gets from his mother unto me. It’s like she possessed his body.

Anyway. I’m back in therapy. Back on this sub. I just hate this feeling, and even though I’m working on myself and working on protecting myself and my daughter I can’t help but feel this is the calm before the storm and I hate living in this constant cycle of dread. I know it’ll get better with time and not everything lasts forever, but I guess I’m just looking to commiserate right now to help me through this rough patch. :(