Trigger warning - physical violence, probably undiagnosed mental illnesses, homophobia, transphobia.

Please also note that I am from a country where children are supposed to live with their parents until they get married. My dad still financially supports me and I am not worried he will cut me off if I go LC, even if it is just to save face in society. I am posting for the first time and will try to summerise as short as I can.

I am 25, a non-binary lesbian (I'm afab, that is kinda important). I have a sister who is 18. Long story short - my sister is spoilt to her core. She has never known what consequences mean. My parents were fairly okay parents when I was growing up. They didn't care too much about what I was doing outside of school as long as my grades were good, however they were SUPER STRICT about studying. I had daily schedules filled with extra classes and mandatory "hobby" classes. I am also a very anxious and introverted person and didn't really have friends back then, so I had about zero chances to be a rouge kid. The most trouble I got in school was because I was playing scrabble (with myself) instead of listening to my teacher ... because I had already finished what he was teaching.

Anyway. Fast forward to me being 18. I graduate high school top of my stream and get in a college and move to a big city. Everything is hard. It took a long time to graduate. I dropped out twice. I finally graduated last year with first class and honours. I currently do not have a job and I am moving to a different city for a professional course for a job - it was my dad's idea and he is paying for it. I am hopeful to be able to have a job good enough to pay him back the fees and other costs once I have a job. I also plan on working part time but part time jobs are not really a thing here because culturally parents support their offspring, but I'll try my best.

In the meantime, my sister has grown up to be an awful person. She is VIOLENT. And by that I mean she is set off by anything and will start throwing a tantrum and beating my parents up and sometimes me if I was visiting. To give a gist of things she has done to me and in general over the years -

She has "lent" me her laptop because mine was broken and I needed to write a dissertation for college and then took it back when I was about 60% done and she took it back so abruptly I could not transfer my work and then she deleted it. She spends about $60-70 everyday. My parents have gone into debt because of her. And if anyone says no she hits them to the point of medical emergencies. But then once she calms down she says she is sorry and my parents forgive her and basically force me to forgive her. A couple of months back I went home for a holiday and she beat me up and then made ME apologise, kneeling down and holding her feet because I called her out on her behaviour, saying she will break my glasses and my phone if I didn't. I have really high power and can't see without my glasses. Then she calmed down and started acting like everything was fine and I just could not do it. I said I did not accept her apology and she couldn't stand the fact someone was mad at her and threw me out of my parents house at night. And my parents let her. She also has said I am only a lesbian because I had one failed relationship with a boy (I was 14 - my friends all had boyfriends and I really wanted to fit in) and then decided to become a freak. Also said awful mean things about my girlfriend and her appearance, and the fact she is trans. I could go on.

Our biggest festival is currently going on and my family visited and brought her despite my objections. Tonight I was talking to dad about the logistics of me moving and the course, and she kept interrupting. I should not have lost my temper but I did and said just because she doesn't want to work a day in her life, doesn't mean I can afford the same luxuries. And all hell broke loose. She hit me in the head with something heavy, and then proceeded to break my brand new laptop I bought a month ago after saving heavily for it. My parents tried to stop her so she started hitting them and then my parents started yelling at me saying I am the reason they're getting beaten up? Because i asked them to visit? I didn't even want her here. She called me a thief, a whore amongst other things just because she can, and also while I am getting called names and beaten up my parents decide everything has been my fault.

I have a habit of forgiving and forgetting the moment one shows an ounce of remorse, or fakes it. I know nothing will change. I have suggested to my parents to get my sister evaluated by a medical professional and they don't want to. They think she will be okay because I was also angry when I was younger. Mine was regular teenage angst, honestly. I am afraid of birds, for fucks sake. I have decided to keep my laptop in its broken state, for it will not let me forget how they truly are. I also think I would have a talk with my parents tomorrow morning before they leave about how I would like to limit physical contact and phone calls. Once I move to the other city my physical meet will anyway be much less, but dad and I talk on the phone every day and I think it's time to lessen that, if not stop. I am going to propose that we only contact each in times of emergency.

It hurts so much. Despite everything, even as I type this, I know I love them. And I hate myself for loving them because I really should not. I hope going LC is the right step. And I hope I can keep it up. If you've read this post that turned out to be longer than O expected, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, kind reddit people. Goodnight.