i found the emotionally immature parent framework described by Lindsay c Gibson in her books to be very helpful in managing my relationships with my family. I currently cohabitate with my parents and my partner as we save up some money to find our own place come fall. It's been a lovely summer mostly but some things never change huh! here to vent....

My mom is absolutely wild with her insistences of urgency. When she thinks something should happen, it sure the fuck better happen right then! Or else, nobody cares about her and the day/life is soooo difficult.

While I still lived elsewhere, I confided in my parents that I needed to have a tooth extracted. The dentist had presented me with the option of attempting a root canal, but told me there was not much of the tooth left to save and ultimately the root canal would be much more expensive, potentially more difficult recovery, and may not take after all that. I was looking for advice on the decision and so told my parents (my bad! Lmao). My mom suggested I get a second opinion from our old family dentist. I agreed that was a good idea and began the process of getting my records sent to him from the dental school I was at the time getting care from. Cue my mom bothering me every single day about if my records have been sent yet, why they haven't been sent yet, why I don't just go down there and get my records, and how "you don't want to lose the opportunity to get our dentist's consult." Absolutely no reason for her to think our family dentist gave a flying fuck if my records came today or next week. It's literally his job. I was really on the floor at "lose the opportunity" lmao. Total disconnect from reality for her.

More recently in the house we live in together, I was going to watch my toddler niece and told my mom we were going to the library. She asked me to grab a book she has on hold, I said sure. She then asked me to also go to the bookstore several long blocks away to get another book she had waiting. I said yeah I can probably do that if everything is good with the baby. She was shocked. "Only probably?? But the bookstore is right there!" Firstly I think anybody can agree that piling on non-urgent errands when somebody is watching a 1 year old is a bit rich. And the book store is not "right there." We live in a small town so she may as well have said our house is "right there" frankly. I did go pick up the book bc the baby was easy that day. My mom hadn't even paid for it. I complained to the cashier in good humor about what had happened and cashier agreed that the library certainly wasn't "right there."

Yesterday, my sweet baby niece was diagnosed with a mild illness, safe around adults but she couldn't have her regular childcare which was around children. I agreed last minute to take her. My parents, my sibling, and I all share a car. (We live in the same neighborhood) I was walking from my siblings house to the playground with baby when I get a highly elevated phone call from my mom because I'd kept the car keys accidentally in my pocket rather than leaving them where she could use them (yeah we need another set). I'm personally for the most part past giving a fuck when she tries to make something urgent that I know is not so I just ignored her tone and told her she could come to the playground to meet me. Playground is 3 short blocks away. I heard from my sibling that my mom was throwing a hissy fit this whole time about how I didn’t answer my phone when she wanted me. My sibling said, the playground is only 2 minutes walk. My mom says NO IT'S NOT!! And huffs off. My sibling made the decision to get into it with my mom over text about how ridiculous she was being. My mom had the usual list of excuses (she's tired, she's sick, she's stressed) and chastised my sibling for "pouncing" on her about it. LOL. My sibling is a mild mannered and lovely person who frankly could stand to pounce on people way more.

Oh and she needed the car so urgently because? She wanted to "get to the grocery store before the crowds at 5." I told my partner who had witnessed my mom running around the house stressed and yelling seeking the car keys and she was shocked LOL, she said she was sure there had to be an appointment or something my mom was late for to be behaving that way. Nope! Don't yall get it? She wanted to get to the grocery store before 5, so we all better drop absolutely everything and make that happen whether or not she communicates about it.