So in my last post I put up how my dad wanted me on a routine despite not living with him.

I text my mom every morning to tell her I'm up at 10:30. I usually promptly fall back asleep but I do this so they think I'll have a routine.

I lie to her and tell her I'm exercising which I don't do everyday. They are "proud of me"

I hate myself for not having the courage to cut boundaries. Mom does give me some money every month and until I'm back at work I need it. It's about 50-80 depending.

Further thoughts with my father remind me that he's bragged about taking stuff from my apartment and that I "didn't even notice". This includes things such as alcohol and over Christmas a cast iron pan.

It's such a huge violation of my privacy. I get anxious and nervous about telling them I don't want them up here.

My mom has commented in the past saying I "live in squalor". She used to criticize me for not wearing a bra or not shaving under my chin (hormonal problems)

I never feel good enough. I'm not good enough for them. They were going to adopt a kid when I was small and it fell through. I'm so glad it did