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What screwed us was the combination of Chernobyl Vietnam the Soviet union collapsing too early.
That hampered a lot of nuclear tech and general enthusiasm for space. It really would've only taken a few things to have at least one Orbital settlement by now.
Whenever I get pessimistic I feel like the great filter might be ennui. Civilisations are curious but never that curious and eventually nobody cares anymore.
Maybe looming nuclear annihilation is the only thing that can really motivate us beyond the initial step and peace is a slow and insidious killer.
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It's both a great Exodus and a great adolescence ("cradle of humanity" anyone?) analogy though I personally think paranoia and ambition is more than enough.
For a real world example: Consider the Panama and Suez canals. These would've never ever ever ever been built without threat of war & isolation right around the corner.
I think that generally speaking blowing each other up is generally bad. Controversial, I know.
Buuuut I also feel like without the threat of it on the horizon we tend to lose the plot very hard.