He is a family friend. Used his position to try to have an affair with me (think “creepy uncle” fashion). This occurred over many encounters, like grooming. He’d make an advance, I’d be unsure how to respond because I was raised to be polite. I’d usually joke my way out of it but be better prepared with a response the next time. Next time would come and he’d be straight-laced and respectful, and I’d question my interpretation of the last time. Once my guard was down again, he’d make another advance.

Ultimately, propositions were made. I got out of those situations (2) and stopped attending any function where we might cross paths. I was in my 20s. Saw him at my brother’s wedding 10 yrs later and his innuendo continued.

A funeral is coming up. We’ll both be there. I plan to email him in advance and give him the stern “cut it out” that I was unable to say back then.

Question is do I tell his wife? I’ve been given conflicting answers from two people familiar with the story. One is a pastor, the other a therapist.