He has been wanting me to open the relationship because he “loves” her and me. He cheated on me with her for three months, dumped me and spent the next 5months gaslighting me, accusing me of our separation and finally got it out of him. He decided he was going to give her up and five months after he is claiming he can’t get over her (we were in therapy and then he refused to continue). He is stating that he will never have a monogamous relationship even if he leaves me and stays with her. ( we had some infidelities shared 7 ago 2(me) and now 2(him) His request first was that we need to have a ethical non monogamous relationship like swinging, I said ok yes let’s do it. Went to swingers club and tried making friendships, but it kind of takes time to warm up. Now it’s swinging anymore we wants a polymamorous lifestyle. He wants her and me, with each other in appropriate spaces.

Worst part of all this is that I felt under pressure and fed up with this, that I know she just wants him for the moment, himself and financially. I called her and asked her in front of him “Do you want to join us” and she decline 3 times. I said but don’t you love him, and she said “ I care for him but don’t love him”. He got rejected and now he called her, and she wants to have the open relationship but wants alone time with him.

He doesn’t get it, that I am putting to much at risk. I want him to realize that I am trying to save my marriage but doing this is not going to help us heal after all the shit he put me through.