My name is scott and I’ve been with my wife since 2000, married in 2003 and have 2 girls 12 and 14. As with any marriage we’ve had ups and downs and our share of problems but felt we were doing somewhat well. In 2020 during the pandemic my wife turned 50 as did I and she started going through menopause. As we rolled into 2021 it seemed she wasn’t coping well with the hormone and changes rom menopause so she stopped being intimate with me.

I accepted it and realized she was going through some tough things I couldn’t really relate to but it continued for months with no intimacy at all. I finally pressed her on July of this year and begged her to be upfront and-honest with me and she was and admitted she was engaged in an affair and had been for some time. She felt this man was her soul mate and she wanted and still wants to be with him.

I begged and pleaded to seek counseling and work on us but she relented.

This man is also married and has 5 kids but he’s not opened up or told his wife about the affair. He planned with my wife to wait to reveal the affair till our kids are through high school which is like 3 to 5 years. In that time I assume he wants to stay at home and married so to avoid child support on 5 kids and wants to sneak out to be with my wife when he can.

Since July I’ve been in a very depressed place and not healthy so I’ve not asked to her leave. If she left my kids would likely go with her. Her lawyer also said I can’t kick her out. I never indicate wanted her to leave.

So at the moment we are home cohabitating and coparenting. My gut tells me this guy is using her if he’s asking for 3 years before they have a public relationship and he tells his wife. I just want my wife and family back.