So for context, my parents divorced when I was 6. All I knew is that my dad was physically abusive, that's it. He was never physically abusive with my brother and I but was with my mom. After the divorce he slowly drifted away from us, spending less and less time with us.

So now, a family member overheard my dad accuse my mom of cheating on him. At the time this person didn't think much of it. A year later and this person told me. I asked my mom, and she confirmed to this person (not to me mind you) that it's true but asked them not to talk about it. Of course, this person just told me this.

Obviously I've spent most of my life thinking my dad is a royal A-hole, and maybe he is. I mean, being physically abusive is not good at all, but knowing that my mom cheated, that wouldn't have helped things. Obviously nowadays that whole situation is toxic as fuck but I'm sure back in the 90's no one knew how to properly manage these situations.

Of course now I have so much uncertainty. Am I really my dad's son, or was I conceived with this other person? Considering my dad brought this up in a negative and aggressive way, it would tell me he thinks maybe he has doubts

I'd ask my mom, but considering she told this person not to say anything I'd imagine she'd clam up or deny it. Can't really rely on her. Due my dad's overall actions I don't speak with him so I can't find out from him.

I don't know how I'm going to get answers. I could ask other family members, but then if they don't know. I would gain no info, and that person would then go and talk about it with my mom and antagonize her further.

I really don't know what to do or how to process this.