Hello all

wife cheated on my last year with a weekend long affair. But around the same time she kissed a college crush whom she lost touch for 20 years but they found each other on FB and support over both having marital problems turned into flirting etc

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in person there was only a kiss. I haven’t believed this however i magaged to get into her FB and read thru minths snd months of FB Chats. Side note , is it possible to scroll to top of chat history in a chat window within safari ? Takes a long time to scroll up.

anyway. She’s cut it off with him because she wanted to work on the marriage but also because she didn’t want to start something new while marriage is unresolved.

things have been going well. She did text him twice after the cutoff but focus is on us. the text was like happy thanksgiving and merry Christmas He didn’t reply

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here is what I found out via chats. Back before the reveal she proposed for him to fly to our home town and stay for a weekend. She then booked a hotel and he booked his ticket. when she proposed it she said she “may need to recruit a friend to help”. I assume this would mean getting a GF to go on a weekend long trip with her so it’s a “girls trip “. Right ?

anyway. Next day she cut it off from him and that was that.

well she had a trip planned in few months that maybe a girls trip. I have no suspicion that she’s gotplans to meet him BUT I wanted to get yall thoughts on what are my options for monitoring her

i would potentially know where she’s staying. if it’s for two nights would I just hire a PI for a few hours to just tail her there ?

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how would a PI actually confirm the guy goes into her room or she into his ?

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anyone have idea roughly how much this would cost ?

what about some kind of a listening device that could be hidden into her suitcase ? it would have to be sensitive enough to pickup sounds in case she puts it into the closet in a hotel.

Thoughts ?

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this also may need another thread but I’ll post it here. She archived the convo and blocked the guy on fb. Is there no delete option?

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she never admitted to hiow deep the feelings started developing. In fact she hid this eniuntet altogether. It happened within days of actual sex cheating with a stranger and she fessed that one up and only month or two later after I began to probe she admitted she saw this dude but it was an innocent kiss etc etc and he was an old crush etc.

I don’t want to ask for fb history but do want er to admit to feelings building over time and ideally to admit if she had plans of seeing him before our reconciliation. (ll. By the way, the cheating with the stranger, this emotional affair and the encounter happened after a couple of years of dead bedroom. after everything came to LIGHT, we started being intimate again and I’ve been working throug

I feel like if she is able to share that she developed feelings over this period then she no longer can put this on ice and just fantasize but it’s been tainted by bringing it into our reality Also , she’s traveled solo for years. Since I met her Never cheated. At all. And while I don’t condone what she did the dead bedroom and her wanting a divorce for last few years did set the stage. Now, however, especially after seeing her text, even though this happened during a supposed break, even though it was in her head, I feel like I now see that she’s capable of doing this, and I told her that I’m not comfortable with her, traveling from here on, so if she admits that she plans to see the guy before then at least she’s more conscious of the fact that she needs to be extra forthcoming with me

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Happened during a dead bedroom., Which lasted a couple of years. The way I see it however, the next time she’s upset at me for something and perhaps isn’t intimate with me for a week or two does that give a greenlight in her mind? Anyway, just something else else I wanted to share.

I gotta run errands so gonna post this for now. Will say more later but appreciate advice in general but specifically

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TLDR wife is going away to another town. What are best ways to spy on her to confirm if she’s meeting up w someone there. If I know the hotel. Any tech I can use ? Would a PI be affordable if I know the hotel name to minimize time spent following her ? How can PI actually confirm physical affair happened ? Can PI monitor hotel room and take pics of them going into the room ? Or some small tech gets mounted in hotel hallway to scan the door for coming and goings ?