Edit 2: the support here is overwhelming in a great way. It's easy to tell when I'm being a stubborn person. Fuck math, my wife is more important.

Hi all,

We're 34m/32f trying for our first. For 6 months we aggressively timed ovulation (temp drop and tests and everything) and 6 months more we were slightly less aggressive about the timing instruments but we're absolutely sure we were having sex during the correct window. I think it's possible we may have "missed" one or two months by me whiffing the finale by being too far out or something... Not to get to graphic, I just wasn't convinced I got my best effort in there. But that still gives us 10 months of bang-on tries.

We've done the tests, she's clear and my counts are very high while my motility is average.

I'm ostensibly a statistician. 10-12 months doesn't quite cut it for me as a statistically significant sample, and I don't think we need to start giving the IUI/IVF a go until 18 months minimum. I want to give natural unassisted conception the chance it deserves, even though I'm totally okay with going the scientific route.

My wife is really hurt. Every time her period comes she becomes upset to an extreme degree. It's hard to even share how I feel about it during this time without it becoming an altercation, even if she asks me how I feel. This most recent time she referred to it as me being okay with "torturing her every month" by not going to IUI/IVF by and it really hurt me a lot. We've had a wonderful relationship for ~13 years, but this is doing real damage.

I love my wife. Do I give this up and take the next step here, for the greater good of our relationship?

Any help from anyone who has been in a similar boat would be really appreciated

Edit: thank you to the mods/bot for the "unassisted" correction. always trying to learn.