I don’t really know where else to post, and I have a lot of feelings. I’m both incredibly devastated and infuriated.

I’m pretty young (24), but I’m the first gen in my family who didn’t go to residential school. My grandfather’s brother was also murdered at residential school when he was 12. Theres so much trauma and hurt.

I don’t live in Cowesses and I feel so helpless. My family is hurting so badly and I’m so upset. I live in the states now and I’m feeling isolated.

I think constantly about my grandmother, a survivor of residential school and how I have her real name, not the name that was forced on her. I’m trying to do her, my relatives and my ancestors proud. I want to help my community so badly. I feel so blessed for working at an Indigenous Center and being able to help other Natives. But I wish I could do so much more. I just want to scream.

Sorry for the ramble, I need to get this off my chest. I moved from all of my family and sometimes it feels like it’s too much.