I just wanted to make this post to say that my mom is my caregiver and she does such an amazing job at it along with being a great parent. Usually that kind of job isn't one you get paid for and I can't really express in words how grateful I am to have my mom's help.

I am an ambulatory wheelchair user and have muscle weakness along with chronic pain. There's also a ton of other symptoms that I'm not going to list and they probably aren't relevant anyways. My mom used to change me all the time. Luckily I've learned ways to adapt and only need that kind of help during flare ups, but the flare ups cause so much pain and limit a lot of my mobility that I'm not sure what I'd even do without my mom.

Even though I don't require 24/7 care I do still consider my mom as my caregiver because she still does so much. Even when I'm not having flare ups my mom will do other things like handle my doctor appointments for me. She also makes a meal or two that I can heat up and eat at my dorm. She'll buy me a lot of prepackaged food that is easier for me to make. Whenever I'm struggling with something related to my colostomy she will help me with that. There's so many other things I need on occasions that my mom helps me with.

She's also great for emotional support. Obviously she can't replace a therapist and isn't in charge of all my emotional distress, but sometimes having a medical condition or multiple medical conditions is mentally exhausting and just having someone to talk to can help a lot. Occasionally when I need to vent to someone or I need advice my mom is willing to listen. The most common reason I'd call her for support is when I have muscle spasms in my neck due to TMJ dysfunction and it causes me to feel like I'm choking. Dealing with incontinence though is also something I talk about often with her though because I don't have very many other people I feel comfortable discussing it with.

I'm mostly making this post because I know that some others in this subreddit also have caregivers and among those people many of them are not capable of doing the tasks that they get assistance with on their own. If there are any caregivers here then I hope that you feel welcomed here, are willing to share your own experience and will give advice on supplies, things related to specifically being a caregiver for someone that's incontinent, or anything else you have knowledge of that would be helpful.

I think that in these medical support groups caregivers tend to think they are only able to ask questions and anything else would be speaking over other people, but y'all are usually just as knowledgeable on managing this condition as many of our longtime members are. The more information and resources that can be provided the more it helps our community and it doesn't matter where it comes from, as long as it's accurate and helpful. It's important for members of this subreddit that have incontinence to use this space for support, but I don't think that there's enough encouragement vocalized here for the caregivers. When caregivers here give their support or advice, even if it only helps other caregivers, that in turn helps the people they assist in their lives.

I want to encourage people to show their appreciation for their caregivers. Do something within your capabilities every once in a while to thank them for what they do. It doesn't have to be something big. You could drive or have someone drive you to a nearby store to get a card or buy a meal that you and your caregiver would enjoy so that they have one less thing to do. About once a week I try to do small things for my mom and every few months I pay for her and I to eat at a restaurant. Some of the things I do once a week are as simple as thanking her for something she did that week or telling her that I love her. These are subconscious things and I'm sure that many others also do these kinds of things subconsciously too.

My advice for all the caregivers reading this post is to not forget that your physical health, mental health, and overall well-being also matters. Don't avoid doctor appointments or therapist appointments if possible. Try to find someone your loved one feels comfortable with to help you out if you need a break or have somewhere important to be that you can't take your loved one with you to. It's even better if you can have multiple people that are capable of doing that for you in case someone is busy on a specific day. The person your helping assist would most likely feel the same way.

I know my posts on Reddit are usually very long, but I just always have a lot on my mind and I feel like I won't properly express everything I'm trying to say unless I share it all. If you made it this far then I'm sorry for making you read all of this but I hope it at the very least made your day better than it was.