So I have been dealing with stress urinary incontinence for seven years now (I didn't realize it had been that long till I just did the math) and I've come to accept it but lately I am really frustrated with it. I am so tired of being ashamed and having to hide it scared of what my coworkers think when I have to take my bag with me to the bathroom. I am tired of the expense of having to buy diapers every three weeks, I am tired of it being apart of my every single day.

Like today I am at work I changed and figured ok I am up and about for the next two hours I'll be able to make it to the bathroom so I won't put on a diaper... I was wrong 20 mins later I was already in the bathroom then 20 more mins and I said screw it and put one on. I am so tired of that too like even if I don't drink anything and purposely dehydrate myself I am still going every 20 or so minutes. It's so frustrating I just want to be able to function normally if that makes sense.

I haven't even tried to date like who's going to want a 37 year old who has to wear diapers.... Its embarrassing and I am tired of that.

Like Ive accepted that there's nothing I can do beyond a surgery, but I don't want to do that I've had more than enough surgery's in my life already I don't want to have another one. So it's fine I'll put on a diaper but it's such a frustrating experience and I feel like there is a constant stigma around it to that I'll smell like pee or something. I don't want people to think that about me so I don't really tell people.

I am just super annoyed with it ATM and needed a place to vent. Thank you for listening/reading sorry if it's not allowed let me know and I'll delete it.