I am writing this because I am really nervous about my current situation. I’m afraid I might have lost my kids forever.

My son and daughter are both in college, living away from home, so a lot of the time I am alone and lonely. When my kids stayed over at my place for Christmas it made me so happy.

I learned that my daughter was planning on taking a break from school to work, a decision that she was scared to make. My son and I fully supported her though, it is her life after all and she is an adult.

We decided for the first time to drink together and spend time with each other. Apparently none of us knew how to control our alcohol because we were all extremely drunk.

My kids don’t know me as well as they think they do, which is crazy to say. They have no idea how addicted I am to sex, how much porn I watch and how many people I sleep with. I started asking them questions about their sex life which caught them off guard, yet they answered everything.

Bad mom alert, my hyper sexual brain started racing during this time and I asked them if they ever considered kissing each other at any point in their life. My daughter said no but my son threw in a “but I’d try it once if I ever had the chance”. That was enough for me to try and convince my daughter to kiss him once.

It took a few minutes of persuading but she finally agreed to it. I don’t think I was specific on how to kiss, but my son was quick to go for her lips. My daughter was not receptive at first but eventually she reciprocated and they shared a lovely few kisses together.

When they were done I didn’t waste time asking, I started kissing my daughter too. She was very shocked but also reciprocating. The kisses were very sloppy, probably because we were drunk, but I felt like I was in heaven. I then switched onto my son and started kissing him as well, just as sloppy but even more passionate, he really wanted this.

I took his shirt off and started kissing my way down his neck, to his chest and back up, he was just soaking it all in, my daughter was just watching us. I then took her top off too and started sucking on her breast. My son joined in and we were both sucking her breasts together. She was moaning and seemed to really like it. So far so good.

I started to dig my hands down under my son’s shorts, grabbing his bare penis with my hand and started giving him a handjob. At this point I had clearly gone past the deep end and lost my mind.

I guess my daughter snapped out of the trance we were all in and she suddenly stopped everything. She forced her brother to leave my room with her and forget any of this ever happened. I was so sad.

When they left I just laid on my bed stressed out. The next day I got radio silence from both of them. My son did hug me in the morning but neither of them said a word to me.

It’s currently the second day and it’s still radio silence. I don’t know what to do. Alright go ahead, call me a terrible mom now.