I’ve always had a thing for my cousin, let’s call her Ava. When we were little we were inseparable, always together. I always thought she was cute but did nothing bc I thought it was wrong. Until one day I couldn’t resist.

I know it probably means nothing. But a while back, around 10ish years ago (for age reference I’m currently 18 and she’s only a year younger). One night after going to a football game we were all hanging out in the parking lot celebrating bc the team we liked won. After some time goes by we both get cold and wait in the car. I touched her hand, remembering how ice cold she was I hugged her so she could warm up. While we were cuddling she looks up at me and without saying anything she kisses me. We started making out in the back seat of our grandmas car and it was magical. We were tossing back and forth, I can still picture it to this day. My cousin was my first kiss and I loved it. But for some reason, I felt bad that I did.

After this I started drifting away from her bc I knew it was morally wrong and I felt guilty for liking it. But now seeing her all grown up, idc anymore I’m so attracted to her idk what to do. She has a bf, but they’re doing long distance so they don’t see each other often but still. One of my regrets is not talking to her about it sooner bc I wish there could still be something. Now with her bf and that a long time has passed it feels too uncomfortable to bring up. We’ve always had a soft spot for each other over the years, but now I can’t help myself. Hopefully you guys can help. Feel free to ask any questions, give any advice, I need it.