I've been sick the last few days. I'm doing much better today but I've been spending a lot of time sleeping while my husband takes care for me. I was coughing and sneezing and had no appetite. Then my appetite came back and my body felt like I needed to eat all the food I didn't eat during that time. My husband made me homemade bread and soup. Honestly, I don't have much to talk about here. It will inevitably come to a point where I don't have much to say. If/when I get further with my son and I give him oral sex and we make love. There honestly just won't be much new to post. I'm sure if it gets there I'll have some thoughts and takes to share. But at a point it will just be routine. I'm not saying it won't be special and meaningful. But I'm not going to post about the same feelings and same happenings on reddit tons of times. If we do have sex I won't make a bunch of detailed "had sex with my son" posts.

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Currently with our progress, that is kind of where I am at. I don't want this to come across like our connection is weakening or it doesn't feel as special. That isn't the case. Every kiss, every hand hold, every arm around my shoulder feels like electricity. I have a huge incest kink and kind of always have had one but this is something beyond that. This is just a boy I have loved for his whole life. I loved this boy before he was even born. I loved the idea of him before I even thought of having him. I don't mean this in some weird way. Any sexual feelings I've felt about HIM has happened when he was 18 . But I mean my full unconditional love for him has always been there. So to be able to share a special bond with someone I love in this unique way is amazing. And to have it in a safe way where feelings and consent are put ahead of just carnal desires makes it even better. I love the open line of communication we have. Don't get me wrong, it is hot that my son and just send, "I'm hard right now" and I can talk him up and get him horny. But Just to have that kind of openness really touches me. Especially knowing how he feels about sex and nudity and how all of this is scary for him.

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In my last post I mentioned that I've started giving him handjobs and he gives me oral sex. To answer the question, yes, we've still continued that. Due to how he is and how he can get about intimacy. Him eating me out happens more often than me pleasuring him. But I believe that him pleasuring me is pleasuring him. More than a few times. While he was eating me out he came and I wasn't touching him nor was he touching himself. He just had his head buried between my thighs and I was squirming around under him and it made him cum. The handjobs have happened a lot. I've given him quite a few handjobs. There are some days when he's really feeling it and I am available so I'm making him cum with my hand 5-6 times in that day. And there are other days when he just wants to stay fully clothed and kiss me and tell me how pretty he thinks I am. I'm very aware of the "power" is sort of hold over him. I can tell by the way he looks at me or how he reacts to the things I do and say. I just know if I were really determined I could have him inside of me right now. And sure, he would have consented to it. But I'm trying to build up his confidence and comfort with women and himself. As well as give him a comfortable outlet for his desires. I've explained before that I believe my son is on the demisexual spectrum so it makes release difficult. He's just into seeing random women. He only can think about or has any desire to be intimate with a woman he knows and cares about.

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I don't have much to update on when it comes to that. A handjob is a handjob. Pussy eating is pussy eating. I enjoy seeing my son build up the courage to ask for that kind of affection from me. We'll be kissing or I'll see him just looking me up and down. I enjoy seeing him about to ask and then changing the subject because he is scared to ask. It is all so cute and sweet. Sometimes he does it and other times I help him there. I mean I am always helping my son there by giving him the comfort but sometimes I have to help him more. He'll start asking something and trail off and I'll say, "No, you were going to ask me something else. Finish the thought." Or to be even softer I'll just ask if he wants some attention from me in that way. All of these are usually accompanied by gentle kisses and running my fingers through his hair. But there are other times when I really want to just make him cum with his hands. I know he would like me to do it but sometimes he'll be taking a while to get there and I'll just flat out ask if he wants it. And he'll giggle and say, "Do YOU want to do that for me." Only I don't feel shy about my desires and only really hold back for his comfort. But I know since HE is asking he has given me the signal that he feels comfortable. So I'll whisper something to him about how I want to rub him until he cums and he'll gasp just hearing it from me.

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We've talked. And when I say "we" I don't mean just the two of us. My husband is fully aware of everything we do and we've all discussed it. That is another change in the overall familial relationship. When I am in my bedroom and usually in some state of undress. Whether that be topless or only wearing a shirt and nothing else. In the past if my son knocked on the door I would ask who it was and quickly get covered. But now if I know it is him I make no effort to cover up. I'll be breasts out in bed next to my husband and my son will come in, give me a big kiss on the lips, and tell me/husband/us whatever it is he was going to tell us. I've gotten a lot of people asking if we do sexual acts in front of my husband. No, we don't. Not to say I am opposed to it but my son is clearly not at that level of sexual openness, incest or not. We have had open discussion about it all. And I don't know about the conversations he has alone with his dad but they do talk a lot and I'm sure our activities come up. My husband has told me that he asked what I was like when we first met. He's asked what our first time having sex was like and what I feel like but I haven't really pried too much. I see those conversations as for them and I don't want to intrude on his comfort.

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I am cautious and am always checking on how this will impact his social life with other women. I understand that my son thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world. I know that I am his first crush and getting with me is like attaining something he thought was unattainable. I do believe he does find me attractive but I also know that he finds my motherly closeness attractive and getting to taste something he never thought he'd be able to attractive as well. But I don't want him to not live a full life because he has me. I am always asking about him and this woman he is close with and sleeping with. He's gone on dates with other women. I'm always checking in and making sure we are both on the same wave length.

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As far as some physical action I don't think I've mentioned. He is quite GREAT at oral sex. He is aware that I love getting my ass licked and played with and will have me on my stomach with his head just buried there licking me up and down. Say I've been out working all day and I get back. He will want to eat my pussy right then and there. I'm not dirty or musty by any means after work but he says he just loves the, well as he put it, "the you musk." He likes to just get between my legs and inhale it all. He really likes when I kind of lean into the "mommy" thing and call him a good boy. The odd thing is, despite being sexual with his mother. He doesn't really have an incest kink. It is just a strong thing for me. So when I call him a "good boy" and say "good job" it isn't really because I am his mother and more the sexual mommy/daddy. Not long ago we were both driving and he asked me to pull over so I could jerk him off and I did it of course. I was proud that he just felt bold enough to ask.

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I'm always open with him but I do feel a big shy to share my incest fantasies with him. Recently he asked me if I find his sister attractive and I wasn't sure how to answer that. I've explained my complex feelings on that matter before so I won't retread but I told him a kind of less vulgar version of what I posted. I told him that objectively his sister/my daughter is a beautiful woman. And I told him that I do have a HUGE incest kink so it has been thought of. I let him in on some moments when I saw her naked in passing or looked at her ass and felt guilty. He didn't judge me or anything. He just said that it was interesting and asked me about it. We have a lot of open conversation. I feel like lately I know my boy quite well. Like much better than before and we've always been close. He told me that he isn't into his sister in that way but is fine with me talking about it. He said that he wants to hear about anything that is important to me. So hearing this I kind of let him in on a fantasy I had of making his sister cum before bed with my mouth when I saw her one night. It was nice to just be fully bare for each other.

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I'm still a bit under the weather and that is all I really have to say. I hope everyone has a nice Christmas