I'm at work typing this out and will keep this all all as concise as I can.

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So in a previous post I revealed that my other child is a daughter that is older than my son. I'm not going to post her exact age and I've not posted mine either because I don't want these to anyway lead back to real life. But both my children are college aged. If you want to read about that check here because I am not going to retread.

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So I have explained that due to the slow advancements and the new and closer relationship I have with my son, I've been sort of spiraling. I don't think "spiraling" is a good word because that implies I am going down or it is negative. The truth is... I don't really know if what I am doing is good or bad, it just is what is happening. I use that word because it feels like it is all just happening and I am feeling things harder than I ever have. I've always had a thing for incest but now it is more.

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A few days ago I was working from home and my daughter was home that day. She was in her room just laying on her and using her laptop. She was fully clothed and just on her side. Her door was open and I could not help but look at her ass. Her clothing was tight and my mind was just filled with thoughts of pulling her pants down and feeling her up. I didn't do anything but I thought about it and I fill sick for it. It is different with my son. He wanted this and asked for it. My daughter has no idea that her mother thinks of these things. Later on I left my room again and my daughter was still in bed in the same position, but this time she was just wearing a t-shirt and panties. I didn't stop and stare or anything but I did slow down and take a look. It's like the universe is testing if I am a horrible mother or something. My tone with her hasn't changed. I don't let it be known that I check her out or that she turns me on. I can maintain conversation and it isn't something so difficult. When we are just together and talking I sort of forget about it and she is just my daughter again. And this also happens with my son. It's not like we are talking about sex and flirting with each other. There is "mother son time" and "sexual time." But I don't take this as a chance to make a move. I don't want to see "go touch her" or "have your dad fuck her." My daughter was simply in bed, in the comfort of her own room, wearing relaxing clothing. Something she's done all her life. It is me and my thoughts that have changed.

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Concerning my son. Things have carried on pretty much as I have explained. Our relationship can be quite handsy. It reminds me of being young and sneaking kisses and feels wherever you can. My son is still very much okay with touching me but can be iffy about how I touch him. He clearly enjoys it but I always ask if I what I am doing is okay. I find the consent and asking to be really exciting. Nothing is hotter than someone you are intimate with telling you that they want something. I'll be on his lap facing him and kissing him and I'll ask if it is okay if I press my groin into his and grind on it. Him saying "yes please, Mom" just does it for me. When we are our sexual it can get quite raunchy. Especially when we aren't face to face. I'll send him things like "imagine how good and tight my pussy would feel around you." We hadn't been THIS raunchy in the past but our dirty talks just seems to get dirtier.

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Last morning. At maybe around 4 AMish I was in bed with my husband. I was sleeping and felt kisses on my neck, shoulders, and back and just knew it was him. I was so happy and woke up and put my arms around him and kissed his neck and felt him kissing mind. My husband was asleep for this entire interaction. He's a heavy sleeper and wears the mask and machine for sleep apnea so when he is out he is out. If I need to wake him I usually have to aggressively shake him and ensure that he is awake or he'll just fall back asleep. Anyway, the room was dark and my son was very erect. He had on boxers and he was so stiff. I could see the flesh of his cock pressing into his boxers through the hole and his pubic hair. He was just looking at me and kind of palming his erection through his boxers and he said "please." This may be a weird metaphor and I don't like the youthful mental image this conjures but it reminded me when he was young. It reminded me of him being young and walking into my room, poking me awake, and telling me that he wet the bed. He would always be too ashamed to tell his father because he wanted to be an independent man. So I'd tell him it was okay and get up and take care of everything. This situation was obviously completely different but the motherly feelings within me were the same. That same base feeling of wanting to make things better for my boy and wanting to take care of the problem just hit me all the way. I sat up on the bed and he stood in front of me and I pulled his boxers down. He was so hard and when the waistband of his boxers pulled over his cock it kind of sprang out and and bobbed around and it tapped on my nose.

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I'll be honest. In that moment I was fully ready to just suck my son off right there. I thought it was happening and I thought he was ready for it. But I left it up to him. I just looked up at him and opened my mouth. I really thought it was going to happen. He put it on my tongue and it rested there. It touched my tongue and my upper lip. We've been doing this so often now that I can without words tell what he is wanting and what he is ready for. He didn't press forward or ask me to do anything more than that. He just started masturbating while he was on my tongue and the tip was in my mouth. I was just really focused on relieving him and making him feel better so in the moment I was out of my head. I didn't really savor the "my son's penis is partially in my mouth." But when he put his hand on my shoulder and leaned down and came I snapped back into the moment fully. And he came quite a bit. It was almost too much and going directly down my throat that I had to tap his legs so he'd back up a bit and get it more on my tongue and instead of just down my esophagus. In the end it was on my lips, chin, cheeks, and of course inside my mouth. He thanked me and went back to bed and I just felt so good.

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But the fear of it all set in later. I fear I'm doing something that my son will resent me for later in the future. We're going into new places, places that I wanted to go but I don't know how this will change things. I don't want him to be my age and look back at this and cringe. I did tell him that I was okay with him cumming in my mouth but that him waking me up and asking for it is something that can't be a constant thing. It was a hot surprise but I am a working woman and I had to set up that boundary. I've had a bit of time to think about it but I just feel unclear. I'm not sure what the "right" thing here is. My number one concern is my boy's emotions. The society aspect is there as well but I put my boy's happiness over everything.

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