Things around the house have been tense but comfortable in an odd sense. Removing any kind of physical or sexual contact we've shared, I've not felt closer to my son before. Just as his mother I feel like I know him more. I'm sure all parents can relate that we feel like we are stuck in a "parent" role and want to know our kids. My children talk to me and interact but there is that parental filter that you are communicated through. It is necessary because I am parent and am sort of an authority figure/person he looks up to despite him being an adult. It is just nice to have open conversations with my son. The sexual tension is exciting but being able to make sex jokes with my son or hear him talk about things(not sexual) unfiltered has been nice.

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This post may be a bit longer and if it is too wordy I apologize.

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As to not retread covered ground. I'll only go over new happenings. So I was kind of expecting him to to do this because he asked me what my size was. And no, I won't be posting my size or any descriptions/photos on here. I told him. Some time passed and eventually he approached me like "I got something for you." And when we were alone he showed me that he got me lingerie. Not going to describe it but it was sexy and lacy. In previous conversations I had mentioned that I really enjoy lingerie and wearing clothing that makes me feel sexy. I showed him my lingerie before and I have worn it for him. So while this most definitely was a gift for him. It was also a thoughtful gift for me. My son works part time and attends college and he saved up and bought lingerie for me. I was very touched. And of course I wore it for him.

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Along with the lingerie he said he wanted to take me out and wanted me to wear that under my clothes while we were out. I was a bit taken aback by this. As we were clear with our feelings. I have no interest in becoming romantic with my son. He assured me that it wasn't like that. We talked it over and I agreed. We have gone out before, just the two of us so I was of course was okay with it. But this time it was different. The intention and point of the "date" was different. While in the past he was thinking of me in sexual ways, I didn't know then. I now know he thinks of me in that way and I am thinking of him in that way. He wanted me to wear lingerie he bought for me. He was thinking of me while picking it out and imagining my body in it. It was just a very different outing so I was anxious and amped up. We are often not home at the same time as each other but we stay in consistent communication. We sent some fairly naughty things. I told him each time I touched myself or was feeling frisky and he would tell me as well.

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He took me out and I wanted to pay for things but he insisted. I won't go into how that went because it was fairly normal. I mean, we are a mother and a son so we can't exactly tongue kiss in a restaurant. It was more so just an unspoken tension. He was sitting across from me and would put his hand on my mind. He would look at my clothing and imagine the lingerie underneath. We did kiss and fool around in the car after. It was all very exciting and exfiltrating. I felt like I was 18 and experiencing something new. And of course he saw me in just the lingerie. I even allowed him to take pictures of me in it(don't even ask) just for his own personal use.

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A few nights ago when I got home, my son was home and no one else was there. This is pretty rare. We are home together but to come home and be alone in a house is rare. I saw him and he saw me and there was tension. It is a lot to me on my end. I can't speak on his end but to feel this kind of different pull toward him as well as my innate motherly feelings. It increases that feeling. I see my son and my heart opens up and because that is my boy and I am happy. But now there is more and it is built upon an already stable foundation of love. Later on before I was going to take a bath. I don't know why. It just was kind of an impulsive choice that I don't regret. I said that I was taking a bath to him and asked, "want to join?" and he agreed. Nothing overtly sexual happened in the bath besides us being naked together. But even that, we were covered from shoulders up. So the only real nudity was through the water and when we were getting in and getting out. It was exciting but I think the bath was really good for his nerves. To just sit in a warm relaxing environment with a woman he finds attractive was a big step for him. At times he would breathe heavy and I would just tell that I was here and that he can relax with me. He has a big issue with nudity and showing his body so he was really anxious. To give a visual. We were both on either sides of the bath(we have a big tub) So we were facing each other and our legs were at each other's sides. His legs were of course more on me and my side because he's a tall man. So this positioning kind of forced us to just look at each other. He was looking me in the eyes and would comment like "You're so pretty" and I would make comments. I'd call him handsome and compliment his jawline or his broad shoulders. He'd compliment my eyes and mouth. He got bold and complimented my breasts. We weren't touchy in there but it was nice.

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Most recently as in this just happened. I'd just gotten done showering and was wearing a big shirt and nothing else. He saw me in the hall and asked if I could go to his room. I said okay and we, as usual at this point, started making out on his bed. He was hard through his pants, again, nothing unusual. He's grinded his dick on me. I've felt his erection against me. I've felt the head of his dick inside of me. He was on top of me and he took his pants and boxers off. So his erection was just out and flopping around. He was against me and his dick was pressing against me in a way that seemed like it was uncomfortable for him. He was on top of me and we were smooshed against each other and I didn't want him to put his weight on his dick and it be angled in it weird way. So just kind of out of instinct I reached for his penis, grabbed it, and flattened it out against my stomach. He looked at me and looked excited and when I realized what I'd done I was really nervous. I thought he'd panic because I went too far. And he did look a big spooked. But we just didn't mention it and he kissed me.

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I feel odd knowing that I held my son's penis in my hand. I didn't rub it or do it with intention of getting him off(not like that'd be a bad thing at this point) but it just feels like a lot. I can still feel him hard in my hand. I also regret that I didn't really take the time to enjoy and savor it. It was like two seconds and my brain was off. I was only thinking about moving it to a more comfortable placement for him. It happened so fast.