Hello, all. Something happened last night that has been just existing in my head ever since. I am working and I'm typing this out on break. I receive near endless requests for daily updates or constant posts. I don't know what kind of life you think I live where something worthy of posting happens daily. And I don't want this to feel like a chore in the end. This is just somewhere to unpack my thoughts.

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I'm at work so I won't have much time. Since my last post my son lost his virginity to a friend his age. This has not at all ceased or even slowed down his sexual appetite. I wouldn't say it's increased but he's been sleeping with his friend and still strongly desires my touch. I've been allowing him to see my breast when asked. He always asks in a reasonable setting. He never pulls me away. If we're alone in a room I'll take my shirt off for him.

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There have been some developments in that. A few days ago he asked me to take my pants off for him. I never dance around the topic or leave anything up for assumption. I just bluntly asked him "do you want to see my vagina?" And he told me no. He admitted he doesn't think he is ready for that and simply just wants to see me bottomless. Which I thought odd because I wear bathing suits outside a lot and my bottoms and panties are equivalent. In some cases my bathing suit bottoms show off more than my underwear. I pointed this out to him and he just told me that it turns him on that I would be taking my pants off in front of him because he asked. He said it is different than me just wearing a bikini in the back. I didn't make a show of it or anything. He sat on my bed and I just undid my pants and pulled them off. He seemed very satisfied with it and was looking at me with big wide eyes. It was turning me on a lot. He then asked if I could turn around and pull the back of my panties down to show him my butt and I obliged him. It was a big awkward to not see him looking at me and just turn around in front of my son and pull them down. But that was that.

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At a later time we had discussions of trust and sex. I don't really have the time to go into details of that discussion here but he had some pretty deep insights. This let me know that in the short time he's been having sex he has experienced a lot of feelings. He really trusts this girl. Neither of them want to be a couple or date. They both seem to be in the same boat of just wanting a person they feel comfortable being sexual around. They are great friends and nearly insuperable. She's been to the house a lot in the past.

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Last night he asked me to come to his room and I did. He was on his bed sitting up and he was very erect through his boxers. He said that he really wanted me to kiss him. I asked him where this idea came from and why he needed it now while he was erect. Then he told me that he always wants me to kiss him he just never admits it. He said whenever I kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug he thinks about what my lips would feel like on his. It was all very sweet and he was being fully honest with me. And this was all I wanted. I told him if he wasn't honest we would have to stop because the lack of honestly leads to hurt feelings or boundaries being crossed. If he were just some younger boy I was sweet with I wouldn't feel like I need to be so cautious. But he's my son and this is pretty serious and every step we take in this is life changing and we can't take it.

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So I sat down next to him on the bed and kissed him. He asked for another kiss and I kissed him again. We kissed and kissed and he kissed me back and put his arms around me. He asked if it was okay if he could feel my breasts. I told him lets just do one thing at a time. I said "are we kissing or are you feeling my breasts?" So he stopped kissing me and asked again and he felt my breasts through my sleeping shirt. I didn't want his time feeling my breasts to be some rushed thing while kissing. I wanted it to be the event. I'm rushing through because I am on break but we were kissing again. and he was hard. He pulled it out from his boxers and was masturbating while we kissed. I got on his lap with my legs straddling him and was kind of grinding that area between my thigh and vagina against him. I was fully clothed but his penis would press into on my clothed pussy at times. But mostly it was just sliding on that space in between on my thigh area. this is where I kind of got carried away on my end. I was really in the moment. I enjoyed kissing him. I liked the way my son's mouth felt on me I liked feeling his erection on me. My chest was on his and I was anxious that he could feel how fast my heart was beating. It was just the most into the moment I'd ever felt with him. It ended quickly because after a few thrusts he came on me.

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I felt kind of guilty. Not that we stepped a boundary or anything .All was consensual but we really did something. I made my son cum. felt him against me. This makes me question how I'll feel if we go further because I did feel shame and guilt and disgust. But more than that I just felt really turned on and satisfied. I changed my clothes and came back to his room and we cuddled on his bed and kissed for an hour or so and then I went to bed.