In my last update I shared that I exposed my breasts to my son and that is as far as we have gone. I as well do not have time nor energy to interact and reply to everyone. I will not provide "daily updates" that many of you request. I am a full time working mother and wife. Things worthy of posting about do not happen every day.

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Spoiler alert: He did not have sex with ME

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In the time between my last post and now my son has seen my breast two other times, not counting the first time. The other time I thought I was alone in the house and was outside by the pool just relaxing on a chair. I had on my bathing suit and my son came out and sat in the chair across from me on the other side of the pool. We talked for a while about normal things. I don't want people to be under the impression that we only talk about sex, nudity, and protentional motherly blowjobs. The most of what we talked about was ancillary but he was telling me about things like how much he enjoyed the new Oppenheimer film or a school project he was working on. While he was openly looking at me and checking out my body(which I gave him consent to do) the conversation was relatively normal. Eventually he asked if he could see my breasts again so I took off my bathing suit top and we carried on. The topic of conversation was not sexual and it was the same as it was before.

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The second time was after we had another talk about his desires. He told me about how he was going to attempt to make a move on the girl I mentioned in the previous post. He was very nervous about it and I told him that if he is nervous he shouldn't do it. He can hardly be naked around me and the nerves kill his erection. We talked about it and I asked him why women make him so nervous exactly. He obviously has no issues talking to or spending time with women. I would guess that over half of the young adults he spends his time with are women. He's always had mainly female friends since he started making friends. He's a handsome boy and from what I've seen from interactions with some of his friends, he is desired. A lot of young men struggle even saying hi to a women. He is beyond that.

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He explained that it is easy to talk to a woman but he feels cursed in a sense. He has no interest sexually in women he doesn't know well or have a connection with. But the more he knows a woman and feels like they know him he gets terrified and anxious about it. He's a young college boy and he is out and attends parties and such. He told me a few instances where it was "on a silver platter for him" as he put it. But he just had no desire to get with someone unknown to him. He feels trapped in this cycle and I feel bad for him. I asked him to tell me what terrifies him about women and he just said when he likes a girl he feels all tingly and that tingle increases and scares him. It was a cute almost childish explanation that I think we can all relate to in a sense. He says he feels it when I make him something to eat or when I hug him from behind but it's different and more comfortable with me because I am his mom. It was honestly very sweet hearing the things that made him "tingle" as he put it. I thought he would say "when your tits are out I tingle" but he told me he feels it when I put my hand on his cheek or rub his back. Any time I call him something other than his name "honey" "baby" etc. Last Christmas he got me something really thoughtful and I told him I loved it and he said it felt it then.

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He told me that vulnerability is all that excites him but he is terrified of it. He admitted that him spilling all his thoughts to me that he never told anyone before was giving him that "tingle" again. I just told him that I understand and that I'm proud of him for being honest with me. He asked me things about how I knew I could be open with his father about my incest interests. I just told him that when you love someone things like that just come out and they become part of you. After this discussion I was in the laundry room folding dry clothes and he was loading his dirty ones in the washer. He asked if he could see my breasts again so I pulled my shirt up for him. I didn't take it off all the way because it was a laundry room and someone could pop in. I just had the shirt pulled up so he could see while I folded the clothes.

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Everything was going as it had been going. Last night we were talking and he told me that he lost his virginity to the young lady he has a thing with. I first asked if he was safe about it and he told me he was. I'd even bought up condoms earlier in the week just to kind of encourage him to do what makes him feel good. I didn't pry for information and he didn't tell me much of what happened out of respect for her. I doubt she would want him running to someone talking about the step by step details of their sex. But he told me it was good and he wouldn't have felt comfortable doing so without our talks and me listening to what he has to say. He said that he still craves me and has a motherly/non romantic crush on me. And still would like to go further with me but that his needs have kind of been satiated now and he realizes that he isn't quite ready and isn't sure if he ever will be ready for this to beyond fantasy.