I want to begin by clarifying a few things. I get asked this a lot even though I mentioned it in the first part of my first post. MY SON IS 20. You can stop asking. Jesus, the amount of "how old is your son" I get. I guess I would see confusion arising because in one post I called him a "horny teenager" which to me 20 is essentially a teenager. I am a woman in my 40s and anyone under 25 is a kid to me. So yes, my SON IS 20. He is a college student. There is no way we can "explore our sexuality" because I would not want to push it and just want things to happen naturally. But also, we live at home with their father and a sibling. Even if it were an action I would want to take(I don't) I cannot walk around with my breasts out or he walks around with his dick out. It's not realistic or reasonable and quite frankly, an odd way to go about sex in my eyes.

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A couple of nights ago he discussed sex with me and who he finds attractive. Summarizing here but he told me about a friend of his that he thinks he has feelings for. He thinks she has feelings for him but neither have made a move. It was refreshing and felt nice to speak candidly with my son about these things. He told me that they kissed and he felt up her shirt before. He was being very honest and up front with me about his desires. This conversation started because we were talking sex and I asked him about what he thinks about when he is NOT fantasizing about me. It's not that I wanted to shut down that talk or make him feel bad for his feelings. I just wanted to know how it compared and if I am the only object of his desires. If he thinks about me sucking him off and sleeping with him, that's fine, his thoughts. But if I am the only person he ever has sexual fantasies about. I would have to address that. He also told me celebrities he finds attractive and other women in the past he has been close with. What I have gathered is that my son is not one of those guys that can't get laid. He has always had many female friends and seems to have women that would be more than happy to sleep with him. It's just a thing he struggles with in himself; the comfort of being sexual with someone else.

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This talk was a couple of days ago where he told me a basic rundown of what he thinks about doing with this friend of his. I feel like I have already went into his personal life enough with this post but he told me some fantasies. I told him what was unrealistic and what could reasonable happen within what he told me(I'm not going go futher into that).

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Earlier the day he asked if he could see me without a shirt. We talked about it and I asked him what exactly his goal was for this. Does he think if he sees my breasts oral sex will immediately follow? Is this something he would want to happen frequently? How he thinks he would feel if he did see his mother topless. This was around the middle of the day and we had a good conversation about it. I told him if he is desperate to see breasts in general that aren't through a screen I could give him some money and he could go to a strip club. But he said he wouldn't want it that way and that the intimacy level is very important to him. This opened up to a bigger discussion about sexuality and while I didn't want to assume his sexuality. This was just from our conversations, I assumed he falls somewhere on the demi/asexual spectrum. For those who don't know. Asexuals are people that don't enjoy sex in the way normal people do. This could mean they just want romance and they never want to have sex. Or they require a lot of emotional connection and intimacy to enjoy sex and all the things that fall in between. It's all a spectrum that can vary from person to person and even within relationships it can change. I told him that he sounds very demisexual to me in craving that needed intimacy and knowledge of the person. The way he explained his crush on his friend, it was all very much because he has deep knowledge of her more than just her being hot. I know that personality plays a part in attraction but demisexuals do not feel sexually interested in someone without knowing them. Which would explain why I, his mother, would be his first crush in life.

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I told him that while I am not opposed to him seeing my breasts that he needs to really think about this. So I told him to come back later and if he really wanted it. I would consider it. Not long ago he asked me to come to his room(it was late and I was in my room with my husband) and he asked. To make a long story short I pulled off my shirt in front of him. I was topless for a few minutes and sat down on the bed next to him and he did get excited by it. But he didn't want it to go any further than that and I put my shirt back on, hugged him, and now I am back in my room typing this out. He told me I was stunning and beautiful and he clearly liked what he saw. He was erect but when it got too weird for him he stopped looking and asked me to put my shirt back on.

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For those that want to know, yes. It is thrilling to me that my son saw me in that way and got excited. But it's almost very clinical and isn't exciting as it's happening. But it did do something for me.

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