Thanks to everyone who was professional and adult like about the situation I am in. I'm aware that these subs are mostly for porn and for people just to put their craziest fantasy about fucking their moms. So I thank everyone who is genuinely taking the real gravity of this situation into consideration.

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Again, spoiler alert for those just trying to masturbate. No blowjobs happened.

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I've been open and kind with him and to his credit. He's been very polite and reserved about it all, more than I would imagine a horny teenage boy would be. A lot of people keep saying I need to "take initiative" or "take the lead" with this one. And I do not feel comfortable to do that as his mother and as someone twice his age. I saw someone say that he's "just a nervous kid so I should take the lead." Well, if he is just a kid then it would not be right for me to start sucking his dick. Only he will know when he is ready and when he feels comfortable. I'm sure he wants more than anything for me to suck him off but when he cums and realizes he wasn't ready he'll feel terrible.

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As I said before, I am not opposed to giving my son a blowjob. It's a huge fantasy and almost a dream come true for me but I would only want it if it were right. As right as incest can be I guess. Yesterday he told me that he looks at me while I am outside by the pool. We have a pool out back and on weekends or off days I sit by the pool and read a book in my bathing suit. I wear the bathing suit because usually after I am through reading I swim for a bit. I asked him questions about why he likes me and how I make him feel. He said he enjoys whenever I wear this specific dress when I go out with his dad. He admitted to enjoying when I am walking around at night in just one of his dad's big T shirts. I am abridging these discussions but they didn't happen all at once, more in spurts throughout the day. I could tell he was very relieved by telling me that he's been thinking about me. He told me that he'd felt like a secret pervert for thinking. I just told him I love him and that you are attracted to whatever you are attracted to. As long as he continues respecting me as a woman and as his mother(as he has been doing) then I am not here to police what he thinks about.

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I asked him when he realized his attraction to me and he just said that it has kind of always been there. He said he swore that he thought he was ready but couldn't handle being naked around me for more than a few seconds. He thought it was weird because I'm his mom but he also still really does want it and thinks about it frequently. He admitted that it was more than just blowjobs. He thinks about me being the one to take his virginity. I admitted that these things he talks about are exciting to me and told him that his feelings are not wrong to have. Again, it's how you express them and he's been a gentleman about it all. We can eat together and live and exist together and nothing off happens. He told me "I jerked off to a picture of you last night" and he showed me the specific picture. It was sweet to me because I thought it'd be one of me on vacation in a bikini, but it was just a normal picture of me. I told him that was okay. Note that this was while we were talking about this. He didn't just blurt it out.

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Not long ago today he asked if he could try again and I humored him. He pulled down his pants and he rubbed himself off in front of me and to his credit he was naked in front of me for a few minutes. He successfully achieved erection but then he put it away and said that this was too weird for him right now. We ate dinner and everything was normal.

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For those wanting to know how I felt. The first time I saw his penis was just a few seconds and he was soft so it didn't do anything for me. This time I guess it was exciting to see him get erect for me while looking at me but, like he said, the whole thing was just too awkward to be enjoyable. But I have an incest kink so seeing my son get erect for me did do something for me and it'll probably come up when I am alone with my vibrator.

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I have no plans or intention of randomly sucking his dick. I'm just focusing on letting him be comfortable with himself and sex. He admitted to me how he feels really nervous about sex/nudity in general and doesn't even enjoy taking off his shirt to swim.

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