My version:

18: Wanted to live young and free and slutty for a while and then have a family, but too shy to make it reality.

20: Met a man who lovebombed me and made me believe I didn't want to live without him. Regretfully gave up on the slutty youth I wanted and got into a serious relationship with him, as a virgin.

22: Married him. By then, I was made to believe that it was me and him forever and if I ever tried to leave, he was allowed to do whatever it took to stop me. He also has complete control over our economy and I have no autonomy whatsoever.

24: Our son is born. Half a year later, he's physically abusive for the first time.

25: I try to leave him, but he won't let me, so I accept that I'm stuck. I keep quiet about my reality at home, try to tell myself that all is good and make the best of it.

28: Ask for an open relationship, to be able to catch on the experiences I never had. He says no. I respect it but I mourn.

34: I fall in love with a friend, and my husband agrees to a poly relationship. (Not the right way to do it, I know.) The rules keep changing and my husband demands complete control but my friend sticks around.

35: New partner teaches me about consent and bodily autonomy, and makes me realise that it's possible to have a partner you're not afraid of. Husband finds other women he can use as supply and it takes some of that burden off my shoulders.

38: Still alive beyond 37!!! Husband and I divorce to separate economies because we both have serious relationships with others, but stay together. I can finally start building my own financial security, and start getting stronger and more independent.

39: I start calling my (ex) husband out when he treats me poorly, and he doesn't like that. His new partner is still completely sold on his love-bombing and more fun. He finally sets me free.

40: Living free and happy in an open relationship with my kind, sweet, beloved new partner, doing well with healing and finally getting to explore the slutty life I could never have in my youth.

Don't let men like these scare you into marrying young and inexperienced, girls!