I've been awake too long

Beginning to think I'm not too strong

Beginning to realize who's my enemy

Staring in the mirror, it's clear to see

Fear and doubt surround my dreams

Only when I'm awake I can think of other things

I've shoved the pills to the side and grabbed a ciggarate

I bought a carton but now I'm down to a pack

I don't need anyone anymore

I don't want anyone to see behind inside my core

I don't want to be the fool I used to be

I don't want to be a tool, I want to be me

I have been in darker places,

I know that I can make this

But it doesn't make it easier

I wish I was smarter

I can't trust anyone

I don't want to look dumb

Love is pointless

Because everytime I try it's something I miss

Either I hurt you before you have the chance

Or I clock out in advance

I really wish I could be myself again

But I'd just get hurt by another so called friend

I used to be so kind

Before I broke and left myself behind I used to make everyone laugh

Now I don't even have a joke when you ask

Why have I become such a dick

I can't keep my cool, I just lose my shit

Every night I curse and smoke

I want to be sane but know that's a joke

I used to laugh at everything

I would have a little ditty for me to sing

I was goofy and weird, I miss that

Now I run and lift weights for pain I crave back

The more attractive I get on the outside

The most the inner me will hide

I can't sleep so I'll just pretend

That I'm happy in the world I'm in