Welcome. Let’s talk about life. I want one. I want a big life with a big family. I’ve lived a lot of different lives so far and I am eager to share my experiences with you. I am a ghost writer and I am a writer of erotica. I am a mathematician, with a degree in chemistry. I’ve only ever lived here in Michigan and I don’t care where I end up, I have no real attachments here except for the cannabis which I smoke now and then.
I want children. I had one. He was brutally murdered in front of me a year ago…. I have been trying to keep myself alive since then. He was everything to me. His name is Kai Rowan. He was in charge of me….he ruled my world and I obeyed him. He was eating steak at 6 months old and he could jibber and jabber away all day. I couldn’t wait to see how he grew up. I have a very Montessori method kind of thing going on with my parenting — helping a young child develop their will and their interests. I am not a big discipline person because I don’t like to give children opportunities to make mistakes or do the wrong thing. My son was only 2.5 so we really weren’t there yet.
I have decided that I am going to go back to finish a degree in mathematics at a university that I left a few years ago. I think it would be wise to be able to have my own job and make my own money before I get pregnant. I have never found anyone seriously interested in loving me and caring for me long term, despite my very misogynistic views. I think that I exist to serve men and that they are supposed to guide me through life. So far, I have yet to find a man with this same attitude that follows through. It makes me feel so bad about myself. I want to serve, to please, to be an obedient wife. I am totally open to this dynamic but believe me — with or without a man, I will have children.
I was born to be a mother. I am so good with children. You can check out my youtube account. I think that you will find that I am a rather wholesome woman. I spend a lot of time enjoying life, children, music, family. outdoors. My own upbringing was really difficult — I sometimes believe that my mother had me with the intent of abusing me because she was upset with the world/her own mother/herself. She used to tell me that she was amazed that I was alive because she had left me to die in a bathtub. I had a multiple near-fatal injuries by the time I was 2 years old.
When my son first was putting sentences together and asking my questions, I began finding that I didn’t much like the way I would respond to him so I changed everything. I went through intense therapy with NLP and hypnosis to radically change my speech patterns so that I could be more of what a young boy needed. I learned to be really supportive and really healthy with my son. He was just everything to me.
I don’t think that I need to be your only woman. I am open to being in a harem or a situation where there are multiple wives and lots of children. I think that I would fit in really well with all of that. I enjoy sex. A lot. I masturbate many times a day and I cannot wait to have sex while pregnant again. I wouldn’t mind doing pornography, even. I’m open to a lot. I am a very sexual being.
So. Who are you? What is it about you that will make me squirm? I love redheads, not gonna lie, but it is not necessary. I also love men who are really good with words. I love big hands. I love brutal play and a little degradation as long as it feels good. I don’t like drugs but I am bipolar and sometimes I need something to balance myself out. I need lots of love and attention. I need promises and follow through. I need someone who really wants to be a dad and wants to be my whole world, too. I want to write about you and worship you. I want you to have a really important or cool job that we can talk about. I like important men….lol….men with jobs that only they can do. I will probably not sit around and watch TV with you — ever — I would sooner leave. I want to be talking, fucking, hiking, reading, writing, playing with our family. I want to decorate the house, do the laundry, cook for you. I want to have value and be kept busy everyday. I need to be kept busy, really. I am a workaholic and I fall apart without a role in the home or the community.
What do you think? My timeline is up in the air. If I get whisked off my feet, I could consider not going to school but I think I’m going to need a very firm offer. If you don’t want to marry me and can’t commit to taking care of me and our child then I guess I will need to finish my math degree and find a job somewhere and then maybe a sperm donor. I really need family. I just have been bought and discarded by so many men in my life, I am a bit trigger shy. Maybe I will just go to school for fun while we get to know one another. I have always wanted to be married and would jump at the opportunity with the right guy. I am scared. I really am…. I am just scared that I am going to put myself out there and I am going to be unwanted again…
Thank you for reading. I really look forward to hearing back from you.