long post ahead, my (18f) life has been overshadowed by my older sisters, and I’m at my breaking point.

I live with all three of my sisters (and my parents)—Emilia (22f), Lauren (21f), and Lexi (14f). Emilia is married with a 4-month-old, Lauren is a college freshman, and Lexi is special needs, and honestly, I adore her. I’m using fake names, and while I’m not going to go into the details of the genuine abuse I endured from Emilia from ages 5-7 (because it’s too painful to relive still), I’ll give you a glimpse of what I've had to put up with, only with my sisters though cause my outside life was... unideal as well.

My older sisters have always excluded me, stolen from me, and spread lies about me. This has led me to grow up completely alone, without friends or hobbies of my own. Every instrument or sport I played, they suddenly had to play too. Every academic achievement I had was overshadowed by them. No matter what I did, it was never good enough, and I was always shoved aside.

By the time I was a teenager, I stopped trying to make friends or talk about what I liked, because I learned that anything I said or did would just cause more drama. I stopped caring about everything and fell into a deep hole of isolation. Honestly the only times I did talk was to argue with them cause I was of the impression no matter what I said or did I would always get in trouble cause it was 2 against one.

The one thing that kept me sane was my independence. At 14, I started working and driving, and that was my one escape. Lauren and I, by that point, had been coexisting. But Emilia couldn’t let me have anything without trying to take it from me. She was upset I had something she didn’t, so she started pulling all the attention to herself.

First, she became obsessed with this radical “kill all men” feminist stance, even though our dad is amazing, and men genuinely never hurt her. And I had male friends (2, at that point). Then she began self-diagnosing herself with every disorder under the sun—color blindness, dyspraxia, sleep apnea, ADHD, anxiety, you name it. The issue here was that I wasactually diagnosed with a life-threatening form of insomnia, ADHD, and anxiety, and Emilia’s constant appropriation of my struggles made it harder for me to accept and cope with my own mental health.

Every time something happened to me, it felt like she had to “one-up” me. I got hospitalized for insomnia—she got “treated” for sleep apnea. I went to therapy—she got “triggered” by everything. When my friend died, she claimed my best friend was also hers (even though that wasn’t true even slightly). And this behavior is still happening (if anything it's worse).

When I graduated at 16 because I just wanted to get away from people so I buckled down, Emilia still made everything about her. Me going to college at 17 became about her college life (she dropped out of college after a few months and acted like she was the one going through the real struggle). I started streaming on Twitch, and suddenly she had to start a YouTube channel just to downplay me. I started designing shirts and sewing costumes—yep, she did that too. I could go on for a while cause that's just the boring minimal impact stuff.

It’s not just about the attention, it’s the fact that every major event in my life is hijacked. including the time when I made more friends, and she told everyone I had been 🍇ed (something I never shared with her). As a result, everyone I trusted abandoned me, which still makes no sense. So now, I’m just trying to survive, but I’m exhausted from constantly dealing with her.

Right now, I’m juggling a job, helping pay rent, assisting my mom with her business, managing a chronic disorder, dealing with a breakup, and trying to be there for Lexi—who, by the way, nobody else bothers to spend time with. On top of all that, I’m trying to exist in a space where my sister Emilia has never once faced any real consequences for her actions.

I know other people have gone through much worse, but this constant, lifelong harassment from someone who’s supposed to be family is honestly just draining. I’m finally at the point where I wish she would get a life of her own and stop making mine about her.

I really need some advice because I’m at my limit. Gone are my days of physical pain from holding back. And no I can't move out, have you seen how expensive it is, plus I like my family mostly.